"But Allison," you ask, "how can a sweet baby girl in a lilac tutu disturb anyone?"The bangs. They're not real. Evidently, there are far too many infants embarrassing their poor parents with their pathetically thin wisps of baby hair.
How dreadfully embarrassing.
Never fear. Baby Bangs! has the solution for parents who have grown weary of correcting strangers that the child is "not a boy!" Baby Bangs!'s target demographic is "the girl who has everything - except hair!" It's easy fix, too. Just place the wig and headband atop baby's head, comb and tease each strand of hair into a natural swirl pattern, and then lacquer it in place with hairspray. I'm sure that - and the subsequent ungluing of each strand from baby's scalp - is super-easy. The price of beauty. Sigh.
Ah, much better! Baby is all set to go out in public. No need to keep her cloistered in a windowless room. With her "exquisite" hairdo, baby will look "[s]o beautiful." How beautiful? She is "sure to grab comments from family, friends, and even strangers!" What parent doesn't want her newly coiffed baby grabbing the attention of strangers? "I can't believe the change it made in Emily," reports a grandmother in St. Louis. "Thank goodness she has hair now." Julia Baker in Boulder, CO gushes that these little wigs are "very cute and apropos in our image-conscious modern world."
Is that true? I assumed that "our image-conscious modern world" exempted infants for a few years, at least. Evidently not.
No comments:
Post a Comment