Feeding babies

Disclaimer 1: I do not have kids. Thus, I am "sticking my nose where it does not belong." I will do that sometimes.

Disclaimer 2: I am not addressing those who would like to breastfeed but cannot/unable to due to health concerns, or those who have adopted an infant and do not have access to/afford using a milk bank.

Disclaimer 3: I know that formula is not poison.

If you've read about my toiletry kits for the homeless, you know that I like sign up to receive coupons and free samples. I signed up for baby coupons and samples, too, which can be given to expecting friends or used to buy diapers for a women's center. Today, I received a free one day supply of baby formula.

The top ingredient is corn syrup. That's sugar for those new to reading food labels. A sugar not without some very recent controversy, I might add.

Then, we have palm olein, coconut oil, soy oil, and high oleic oil. Oil, oil, oil, oil. And not the best kind of oil, either. The "lipids" featured on the front are just these cheap, poor quality fats! (Lipids and ingredients starting with "ol" or "ole" are fats.)

Plus some assorted vitamins and minerals. I guess that makes it...better?

I have no idea where the idea that breastfeeding is wrong, embarrassing, or otherwise icky came from. I've never complained to a manager that a woman one table over was feeding her baby, or gave a dirty look to a woman breastfeeding on the train. I would not want her changing a diaper in a restaurant or in such close quarters, but that is more of a hygiene issue. Isn't is unhealthy to insist mother feed in bathrooms? I occasionally see a mom breastfeed in a restaurant's bathroom, and *that* makes me feel uncomfortable. I am tempted to slather her baby with anti-bacterial hand gel!

I have pictured the formula next to dog treats. I prefer to bake my own dog treats as commercial treats are packed with salt, sugar, preservatives, and artificial colors and flavors. Jack and Coco were gifted these and enjoying them sparingly - just as a person should enjoy junk food. If you have dogs, glance at the ingredient label, too. These are primarily flour, corn syrup, sugar crystalline, fructose, salt, dried cheese product, vegetable oil, artificial smoke flavor, artificial apple flavor, artificial peanut butter flavor, and artificial colorings. At least the baby formula left out the artificial smoke flavor.

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Don't toss your glass jars. Wash and save them and use to store anything from leftover food to dried beans to crafts supplies. The label peels off easily if you fill the jar with very hot water; the heat softens the glue, and the label will peel right off! If the jar previously contained a strong-flavored food like garlicky pickles, you will want to wash the jar twice. No need to buy Tupperware when you can shop in your recycle bin!

I ate a lot of olives so my ribbons, yoyos, and crocheted bits could neatly take up residence on my crafts table.

Legal Cocktail Chatter: Part I: Unsavory Clients

I am starting a new series called Cocktail Chatter. These questions will be culled from my conversations with non-lawyers - in other words, questions posed to me at cocktail parties and other casual social events. Get a cup of tea, martini, or glass of water and join in!

Why do lawyers defend child molesters/rapists/terrorists?

1. Lawyers took an oath to uphold, protect, and defend the Constitution. Every person has the right to a fair trial. Lawyers do not judge their clients; this is the job of of the jury. A lawyer who defends even an admitted child molester is doing the job he swore to do, and do well.

2. Ethical rules demand that an attorney zealously represent his client. In criminal cases only, the attorney is required by the Rules of Professional Conduct to argue advantageous circumstantial inferences that he knows to be false, though he cannot lie. This is how strong the mandate of "zealousness" is! The general public fails to understand how deeply ingrained this idea of "zealousness" is to the art and practice of law. An attorney is not practicing the ethically mandated zeal when he launches a half-hearted defense. Failure to practice with due zeal can get an attorney disciplined or disbarred.

3. A physician who prescribes life-prolonging blood pressure medication to a known felon does not condone criminal activity when he writes the prescription; he simply promotes the health and well-being of his patient. Similarly, a lawyer who defends a criminal does not support or condone criminal activity, but he does support the Constitutional rights of the accused.

4. Like it or not, the Constitution does not go out the window at the whim of public opinion.

What if you believe your client is innocent at first, but then realize he is not?

While there are some very specific guidelines on when and how a lawyer can "fire" a client, it is ultimately a decision made by the judge. A judge will not allow a client's case to be prejudiced by a sudden change in attorneys. The general rule is that if withdrawal can be done with no prejudice and for with a darn good reason (e.g. the client is using the lawyer to commit fraud), a judge will probably allow it.


Please note that nothing here is to be construed as legal advice. This post does not in any way establish an attorney-client relationship.

Picture credit.

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Do not use your home address on your luggage tags. You do not want strangers or thieves knowing where you sleep. Use a business address instead. Need new luggage tags? Why, here they are, free!

A PG-13 Grammer Post

Toothpaste for dinner

Friend did not have a quality education until college and grew up in a very poor, very rural area where grammar was quite far down the "must do" list. Somewhere near "hire a feng shui coordinator for the outhouse," perhaps. Feeling shy about conversing with co-workers who actually live in homes with perfectly feng-shuied bathrooms, she set about tackling their/there/they're and the like.

When she - a decidenly brilliant woman, by the way :) - bought a grammar text a few months ago, she became a tad obsessed with prepositions and asked me to correct her whenever she let her prepositions dangle. Memorizing the whole list of prepositions while remembering to put them in their proper place can be challenging! I did as she requested and gently corrected as necessary when the two of us conversed alone. When one has been dangling one's prepositions for 30 years, this can be a frustrating blow to one's self esteem. To lighten up the mood and avoid being feng-shuied upside the head with said grammar text, I told her a PG-13 joke.

The following joke is not to be viewed by those who disapprove of discussing "female dogs" in a non-canine context.

*
*
*

A snooty Bostonian found herself seated next to a friendly woman from the South on a recent plane trip. "Where y'all traveling to?" asked the Southern woman. "To a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions," the Bostonian retorted. The other woman sat back and considered this for a moment. "Where y'all traveling to, b****?"

See? Grammer is fun! And just a tiny bit bad :)

***
Tip/trick/lesson of the day: If you're messy and tend to toss your keys, phone, wallet, and more on the nearest surface when you come home, purchase a large bowl for an entry table or kitchen counter. It will keep it all contained, and you will not have to run around in the morning cursing the gnomes who sneak out in the wee hours to steal your car keys. I use a large glass bowl so that I can see exactly what has been appropriated by the gnomes while I slept.

Kitchen Adventures: Spaghetti Squash

Spaghetti squash is my new addiction. So easy to make! Cut in half, place the halves upside-down on a sheet, bake for about an hour, and enjoy. Gently fork and fluff the squash, drizzle with evoo, and sprinkle with fresh, shredded parmesan cheese or crumbled feta. Garnish with broccoli rabe or fresh tomatoes. Warming, filling, and comforting, this is a lovely dish for those who do not like the taste of squash. Spaghetti squash has a nearly non-squashy flavor. Plus, it's fun to eat!

You may also top with tomato sauce. Treat it just as you would regular spaghetti!

Picture credit.

Lovely gifts for the kitchen

In addition to The Empress, dear friends gifted me additional kitchen-related items: aprons!

The first is a beautiful pink and ivory apron. One side features lily pads and the other side reverses to a pink print. Two aprons in one, how lovely! I feel beautiful and delightfully domestic wearing this apron. It certainly flatters my coloring.

The second is for baking my dog treats.





Now I just need a third apron to actually cook and bake in, as these aprons are clearly not suitable for drippings, splatters, and floury hands!

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Free samples of Airborne. After exhaustive research, I propose that Airborne is nothing more than vitamin C with a hefty placebo side effect. After you get your flu vaccine, enjoy some orange-flavored fizziness.

For those who wear glasses, Bausch & Lomb cleaning cloths.

Let sleeping dogs lie

Little min pin legs peeking out from beneath the blanket.

Charity, Cheaply: Part IV: Toiletry Kits for the Homeless

Part I.
Part II.
Part III.

If you do a lot of traveling, you probably have a collection of travel-sized toiletry items. Roommate and I started collectinging sample-sized toiletries from hotels and freebie sites once the the airlines banned liquids. When the box started overflowing (we both decided it was easier to simply check one liquid bag and carry on clothing), I tried to find a good use for these items. Food pantries were one idea, but figured that these folks had more of a need for full-size items.

Because the homeless lug around all their worldly possessions throughout the day, I reasoned that giving full-size containers probably was not the best idea. For the homeless I see regularly on bridges and at intersections, I hand out bags with soap, shampoo, lotion, deodorant, and the like, along with some snacks. For those that I do not see on such a frequent basis, Roommate and I make larger kits of a fleece blanket, fleece socks, high-calories non-perishables like protein bars, and a hat, scarf, jacket, or shoes if needed. In the summer, we swap the fleece for a baseball hat and sunscreen.

If this sounds like something you might like to do, here are some tips:

1. I hand out most the these kits from my car. Many intersections I drive through on the weekdays have a homeless person seeking donations. I try to keep the front passenger seat stocked with enough kits for the week.
2. The travel-sized toiletries in drug stores are usually exorbitantly priced! Unless there is a great deal on them, you are better off sticking to hotel and free samples.
3. If you can find a single-use packet of laundry detergent, include that as well.
4. Unless it is specifically labeled as alcohol-free, do not give mouthwash. Toothpaste, toothbrushes, and some gum are fine. For the same reason, do not give hand sanitizer. Baby wipes will do.
5. Consider tucking in extra lotion in the winter.
6. Because many homeless people I encounter are not in the best mental health, I am uncomfortable giving those small packets of 2-4 doses of pain relievers. Taking 4 doses of Advil at once is not lethal, but can cause some seriously unpleasant side effects. A better use of these sample-sized OTC medications is to carry in your purse, stash in your car, or simply give to a food pantry.

How to get free or almost-free items:
1. Hotels.
2. Freebie web sites. These freebies also come with great coupons, too. I spent about ten minutes once a week requesting freebies using an automatic form-filler from Firefox. There are thousands of freebie sites out there. I visit Wal-Mart, Shop 4 Freebies, Complimentary Crap, and Arlana. Open a new, free email account (Yahoo, gmail, hotmail, etc.) so your personal account is not deluged. Only request items you know you can use or otherwise put to good use.
3. Flea markets often have brand-new blankets, socks, and other items for a very low cost. And try haggling with a department store! Wash these items before giving.
4. Grocery stores can be a veritable gold mine on Saturday mornings. At my local store, every aisle has at least one free item plus a great coupon. When I mentioned my kits to the cashier last week, he dumped a whole bin of toothpaste into my bag!
5. Occasionally check eBay. Some people will hoard up dozens of sample-sized items and sell for only a few dollars.
6. Don't be afraid to recruit friends who travel a lot. This is not Arbonne or Tupperware. They will be happy to help.
7. Get in the habit of purchasing toiletries that come with a free sample-sized item.
8. With your new email account, sign up for the promotional newsletters from different brands. Some brands will send you free samples or email you coupons for free items a few times a year just for signing up.
9. Around the winter holidays, most people are feeling particularly generous and charitable. I posted a request for free toiletries under the "wanted" section on Craigslist. I recently had a lovely woman give me about 200 hotel items! *** Use common sense and be safe when using Craigslist. I only meet in a heavily traveled public place, like a grocery store parking lot. I bring Jack along for the ride, too - because he is so big and broad-chested and toothy, he looks rather intimidating. If you don't have a Jack, bring along a friend or family member. ***


***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: If you carry a quilted cotton or cloth handbag, Scotchguard it. You'll prolong the life of your handbags for a few dollars. While you're at it, consider doing the same to light-colored coats, being sure to check the fabric and do a test run on an inconspicuous area on the inner and unlined portion of the coat. I never did understand why white wool coats have been recently in vogue! As with cashmere socks, I'm certain the impracticality outweighs the fashion and softness appeal, respectively. Either that, or I'm just messy.

Also, free box of XyliMelts. I've never tried these as I don't suffer from dry mouth and, indeed, know nothing about products geared toward relieving dry mouth, but thought I would pass it on.

Charity, Cheaply: Part III, Comfort and Joy

Part I can be found here. Part II can be found here.

Many people have taken a serious hit in the stock market. Others have lost their jobs. Most of us are doing some serious budgeting for the worst-case scenario.

But can you spare a stamp and a letter that takes less than an 20 minutes to write?

Consider Make A Child Smile. It's a very simple idea: send a cheery card to a child with a chronic or terminal illness. Please do be sure to read MAC's FAQs, paying particular attention to the "dos and dont's" before mailing off a card and their prohibition against forwarding these addresses to friends. A few minutes spent jotting down an amusing story, etc. can, well, Make a Child Smile.

I really enjoy writing to these children! At the end of a long day, recounting an amusing story is always refreshing and relaxing. Some of these anecdotes are baddog-related, and I have no shortage of funny pictures of the "kids." Or, if the profile indicates that the child enjoys cooking or baking, I'll include a picture and recipe of an easy-to-make snack. A joke concludes the letter. Browse the library or Internet for child-friendly jokes. Try here, here, or here. As MAC specifically instructs, do not tell the child the "get well soon" or include specific religious references - many of these children will never "get well" and the families practice a diverse variety of faiths.

There is certainly no need to send a gift, but I occasionally enclose a small item if I think the child will enjoy it. No food items, as per MAC's rules. More than one child has professed a fondness for lip gloss, so I'll tuck in a particularly yummy flavor. Some ideas come from my mother's adventures with cancer earlier this year. When my mother was in chemotherapy and radiation, I made sure to keep her stocked with plenty of super-moisturizing body treats as radiation can dry out the skin. I also sent her some ginger candies to help with nausea and to give her some flavor, as she was forbidden to eat. Finally, because my mother was in lots of pain and unable to sit or lie down for more than a few minutes at a time due to the location of the cancer, I gave her several puzzles, which can not only be completed while standing, but abandoned and revisted as appointments and illness dictates. Simple, inexpensive treats - but they can bring lots of joy and comfort to someone!

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Please, please, please do remember to clear the ice and snow from the roof of your car before driving! A chunk of ice that flies from your roof can kill the person behind you. Even if the snow looks light and powdery, there can be a dangerous layer of ice hiding underneath. Also, free coffee.

Charity, Cheaply: Part III, Comfort and Joy

Part I can be found here. Part II can be found here.

Many people have taken a serious hit in the stock market. Others have lost their jobs. Most of us are doing some serious budgeting for the worst-case scenario.

But can you spare a stamp and a letter that takes less than an 20 minutes to write?

Consider Make A Child Smile. It's a very simple idea: send a cheery card to a child with a chronic or terminal illness. Please do be sure to read MAC's FAQs, paying particular attention to the "dos and dont's" before mailing off a card and their prohibition against forwarding these addresses to friends. A few minutes spent jotting down an amusing story, etc. can, well, Make a Child Smile.

I really enjoy writing to these children! At the end of a long day, recounting an amusing story is always refreshing and relaxing. Some of these anecdotes are baddog-related, and I have no shortage of funny pictures of the "kids." Or, if the profile indicates that the child enjoys cooking or baking, I'll include a picture and recipe of an easy-to-make snack. A joke concludes the letter. Browse the library or Internet for child-friendly jokes. Try here, here, or here. As MAC specifically instructs, do not tell the child the "get well soon" or include specific religious references - many of these children will never "get well" and the families practice a diverse variety of faiths.

There is certainly no need to send a gift, but I occasionally enclose a small item if I think the child will enjoy it. No food items, as per MAC's rules. More than one child has professed a fondness for lip gloss, so I'll tuck in a particularly yummy flavor. Some ideas come from my mother's adventures with cancer earlier this year. When my mother was in chemotherapy and radiation, I made sure to keep her stocked with plenty of super-moisturizing body treats as radiation can dry out the skin. I also sent her some ginger candies to help with nausea and to give her some flavor, as she was forbidden to eat. Finally, because my mother was in lots of pain and unable to sit or lie down for more than a few minutes at a time due to the location of the cancer, I gave her several puzzles, which can not only be completed while standing, but abandoned and revisted as appointments and illness dictates. Simple, inexpensive treats - but they can bring lots of joy and comfort to someone!

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Please, please, please do remember to clear the ice and snow from the roof of your car before driving! A chunk of ice that flies from your roof can kill the person behind you. Even if the snow looks light and powdery, there can be a dangerous layer of ice hiding underneath. Also, free coffee.

From the rest of us...

Happy Festivus!



Picture credit.

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Serenity now :)

An etiquette question

How does one react when a friend or acquaintance makes a comment or joke that denigrates an entire race, ethnicity, religion, gender, or sexuality?

I'm not so Good that I don't find humor in an off-color joke, but I draw the line where the joke reinforces dangerous (and usually untruthful) stereotypes. I also know that looking Shocked and Appalled and storming off in a huff is not usually the best response, as it removes the opportunity to correct, or at least counter with one's own views. (Certain subjects, however, do absolutely warrant at least a strong excoriation, if not a stormy exit. A joke that endeavors to glorify the depraved acts and beliefs of Hitler or John Lotter and Marvin "Tom" Nissen are examples.)

What are examples of responses that (1) clearly indicate that one does not agree with the sentiment expressed but (2) also express a genuine willingness to explore the issues surrounding the joke?

Lately, I've been within earshot of some very Bad "jokes". "Jokes" that will not be repeated here because they are profoundly unhealthy and unfunny. My standard response has been to give a heavy, "ooooh, that's troublesome" sigh (which is different from a "you're so stupid" sigh or a "this is beneath me" sigh) and follow with a remark - in a light, casual tone - such as "Oh, John, I know you don't really think that! You're going to give these lovely folks the wrong idea about you!" or "Helen, how about that 'how many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb' joke you told me last week! That was a riot! And, unlike [insert offensive subject matter here], it's actually true!" or "Matt, buddy, that's not a joke. Here's a real joke..."

Suggestions?

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: A real joke.

A string walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender looks at him and asks, "we don't serve strings here." The string leaves. He thinks that if he is impeccably polite, he might be served a beverage. "Please, sir, if it is not too much trouble, sir, may I have a drink, please?" The bartender responds, "I'm sorry. We do not serve strings here."

The string again exits. He ties himself up and musses up his hair and walks back into the bar. "Aren't you a string?" the bartender asks. "Nope," replies the string. "I'm afraid not!"

(Please substitute the bar for a restaurant and the drink for a meal for children.)

Picture credit.

Charity, Cheaply: Part II: Bodies

Part I.

Part II is my most passionate "Charity, Cheaply" post yet. I'm in the process of polishing up a collection of essays first started back my undergrad days. I love literature on bodies - bodies in pain, suffering bodies, misshapen bodies, culturally subversive bodies, sexual and sexualized bodies, watched bodies, and more. If this sounds at all appealing to you, here is a reading list: Frankenstein, Christina Rossetti's "Goblin Market", anything by Foucault, medical accounts of hermaphrodites from Victorian America, and Queer Latinidad by Juana Rodriguez. The last 3 texts are appropriate for an 18+ audience.

So, with the Body theme...

Donating blood or plasma can actually earn you about $30 at some places. Consider doing it for free, especially if you have type O blood or a rare type of blood. Even if you take several medications, you will probably be considered a suitable candidate for donation. And you'll get a cookie and glass of juice out of it!

Donating bone marrow can save a life. Signing up with the National Marrow Donation Program is a one-time $52 fee. The fee is tax-deductible. Even without the tax deduction, $52 can save a life. Please, consider signing up! Signing up does not obligate you to donate. Because bone marrow matches are sometimes - but not always - made along racial/ethnic lines based on a similar genetic makeup, please especially consider donating if you are a racial or ethnic minority in America. I can't recall the publication, but I read an article two or so years ago highlighting the particular need for African-American donors. (A friend of mine who has an Irish-English ancestry recently matched to a new immigrant from Haiti, so you never know!)

My father donated bone marrow in the 1980s when collection was performed without anesthesia. He reports that the collection pain was tolerable, and the post-collection pain was limited to some aching tenderness on the hip area for a few days. Medicine has since refined collection methods, but the 1-4 days of post-collection aches are expected. I hope that 1-4 days of bone aches won't dissuade you from donating! After all, what is a day of bone aches compared to the life-long heartache of losing a loved one?

I have not yet been blessed by being able to save a life with my bone marrow. If/when I do - and I pray I do! - you can count on an honest assessment of the experience.

*If you are like me - small build and Caucasian - get approval from your physician. The collection process involves several tiny drills into the pelvic bone, and you should review any concerns about osteoporosis with your physician. Asian women - also at-risk for osteoporosis - should do the same.*

Please note that nothing here is to be construed as legal advice. This post does not in any way establish an attorney-client relationship.
Finally, if your religious beliefs do not forbid it, give serious thought to becoming an organ donor. Make these wishes known to loved ones, and be sure to select the organ donor option for your driver's license. Contrary to Law & Order, being an organ donor does not mean you will not be treated for a medical emergency. I grew up in a Boston Emergency Room (parents are in medicine) and currently sue physicians (read: I know about lots of dirty medical practices.) Organ donation is not the equivalent of a Do-Not-Resuscitate order! You may also choose which organs to donate. Personally, I would like every single scrap of me to be put to good use, if possible. Others would prefer to not donate their retinas or some other organ. All of this is perfectly fine!
Please note that nothing here is to be construed as legal advice. This post does not in any way establish an attorney-client relationship.


Picture credit.
Picture credit.

A movie review and a must-read tip/trick/lesson of the day

I rarely make it to the movies. I only think of it maybe once or twice a year, and the idea of spending $20 for two people to see a movie that costs $1 to rent in a few months (gotta love Wegman's!) just seems a tad silly. If there is a way to get cheap tickets - I already know about matinees and AAA discounts - do let me know.

But Friend adores 007 movies, and was dying to see Quantum of Solace. I've seen a few Bond movies and enjoyed them. But Quantum of Solace was an abject disappointment. There were no gadgets - only lots of flashy gun-play which, frankly, I can see in just about any film and occasionally hear in Killadelphia. There was also a disturbing and totally unnecessary rape theme that presented in several scenes and in two characters. These rape scenes added nothing to the story line and just seemed totally gratuitous. Perhaps the writers were playing off the popularity of Law & Order: SVU?

On the plus side, I learned that there is a new Vin Diesel movie coming out in February 2009. I've had a bit of a tiny school-girl crush on Vin Diesel ever since I saw the original XXX. Granted, there were some rather cliched moments, but any movie that makes such great use of German heavy metal gets "two thumbs up" from me. (My musician brother is heavily into heavy metal and death metal. Much of the lyrics from popular death metal musicians are beyond Sick and Wrong - Cannibal Corpse, I am looking squarely in your direction - but I actually have an affinity for German and industrial metal. Rammstein albums nestle in with Rusted Root, the Rolling Stones, and Lou Reed. At least it forces me to keep up with my German. And the lyrics in non-death metal are much cleaner than most of the pop music on the radio. Philosophical, even.)

However...I also caught a preview for Valkyrie. I just can't take Tom Cruise seriously! Am I the only one? I suspect this is one film that would seriously test my abilty to sit through a film without poking one's neighbor and whispering snarky comments - decidedly inappropriate for a film based on an attempted assassination of Hitler.

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: This is a really good one! Have you visited restaurant.com? You can purchase a $25 gift certificate to many eateries for only $10. But wait! Before you even think of purchasing these certificates, subscribe to or visit couponmom.com. Mrs. Mom frequently has great coupon codes for restaurant.com. I've never paid more than $4 for $25, and last month I was able to purchase $25 for $2! Now, there are some restrictions on these certificates at certain restaurants. These restrictions are clearly stated so that there are no surprises. For some restaurants, you must spend $35 and purchase two entrees to use the $25 certificate. For others, you may not use a certificate on Saturday nights. Still a great deal, particularly if you are like me and keep your smoke detectors on their toes :)

Life is too short to use poor quality olive oil.

Yes, indeed. I am an unabashed addict. The amount of evoo I consume in a month is obscene. I have a particularly strong aversion to butter, for reasons I can't quite explain. A pet peeve? When dinner rolls come pre-buttered! (I occassionally feel guiltily un-American when I reflect that I loath butter, sugar, and chocolate. Unless it is a chilled York peppermint patty.)

Here are my favorite recipes for flavored olive oils:

- Press green olives through a garlic press, and let it sit in oil for a few days. The oil will taste wonderfully fruity!

- Let pressed, raw garlic permeate the oil for a few days.

- Place a chili pepper or two in a bottle for about a week.

- I have not tried these, but you might: crushed peanuts, rosemary, basil, lemon, and chives.

With all these recipes, I recommend refrigeration while the extras are present. Once sufficient time has passed, strain and store at room temperature.

These make excellent gifts! Use a glass bottle - I've had luck with old maple syrup bottles - and dress with a ribbon.

Uses:
- Drizzle over homemade bread or pasta.
- Use to make popcorn in a pan on the stove.
- Use in place of evoo or oil for stir-fry, etc.
- Drink.

Benefits:
- Lowers LDL.
- Raises HDL.
- Reduces the risk of ulcers, gallstones, many cancers, and coronary heart disease.
- Lowers blood pressure.
- Helps maintain steady blood sugar.
- Helps maintain a healthy body weight.
- Improves the condition of the skin and hair.

Picture credit.

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Popcorn is an inexpensive and healthy alternative to other snack foods. Once you've made it with evoo on the stove, you'll never go back to microwave popcorn, I promise! Cover the bottom of a large pan entirely with oil, and then add a single layer of popcorn kernels. Cover with lid <--- important. Listen for popping, and turn off when popping slows. Drizzle with just a small amount of olive oil, and add any additional ingredients as desired. Salt is popular, but a spoonful of raw, pressed garlic is also yummy.

The baddogs adore popcorn time! A kernel or twelve always manages to escape. When Roommate is home, we make a batch in the evening. Coco'nut will pace and huff if the popcorn is not started by a certain time :)

Raw garlic is a wonderful antibiotic. Stir a spoonful into soups or add to a salad. I'm blessed with a very strong immune system, but when I feel a sniffle I run out for garlic and parsely. Raw garlic can be a bit tough on the belly if you are not used to it.

Bathing beauties

I am a big believer in baths. (I'm pretty sure God is, too, with all the ritual cleansing and baptisms.) I spent a year in chilly Central New York, and the first thing I did when I came home was to collapse and warm up in a steamy bath. When I was studying for my bar exams, I listened to most of my PMBR lecture CDs while soaking. (It worked, though I still recite the rule against perpetuities in the tub!) And now, a bath in a darkened bathroom before bed is a welcome time of relaxation.

Bath tips:
1. Turn off the lights and light a candle or two.

2. Add some safflower oil to the water for a very inexpensive treat. A few drops of essential oil are nice, too, as are slices of lemon.

3. Have a beverage. I prefer ice water, but fruit juice, iced tea, beer, or wine are all good choices. If you plan on a very hot soak, avoid alcohol.

4. Consider some reading material or similar. I enjoy flipping through pretty photographs in catalogs or even playing Sudoku.

5. Consider music or radio. I alternate between Enya and NPR, depending on my mood.

6. Before you soak, toss your towel in the dryer for 20 minutes so it will be warm and cozy when you need it. If you have a radiator in the bathroom, drape the towel over it.

7. If you must be productive, invest in a speech-to-text program for your computer. I know I've done tons of writing in the tub! I suspect the steam coaxes brilliant thoughts from my brain.

8. If you have dry skin, post-bath time is the best time to moisturize. I prefer pure cocoa butter as most lotions contain alcohol, which is quite drying. A big tub of pure cocoa butter is only about $4, and really does the best job.

My dream bath:
1. A big free-standing tub in the center of the room. Modern design with clean lines. Preferably on a pedestal. Like this, but without the shower:



2. A television! I don't watch much television, but I recently stayed in a hotel room with its own big-screen in the bathroom. I miss it.

3. Radiant heating in the floors.

4. Enormous fluffy bath sheets.

Picture credit.
Picture credit.

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Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Free sample of Metamucil.

Behold...

This is my new Kitchen Aid.



She is Empire Red!



She has been christened The Empress.

As my mother put it, "you are now a Mature Woman." I joked that there is *no need* to get married now! (The Kitchen Aid is a traditional marriage gift.)

So how did I come into the glorious possession of Miss Empress?

I've recently started baking. In November, my parents visited and my mother brought her very, very old mixer. It was actually older than me by a few years. It worked fine for a few weeks, and then died. It died last Friday evening...and I had an order of 500 dog treats that had to be shipped on Saturday morning. Once I realized that, yes, the mixer was dead and yes, I had to mix 500 cookies by hand by morning, I was feeling incredibly frustrated. I castigated the old mixer in a most impolite manner and vocalized these frustrations in a rather undignified way...just as Roommate walked in the door. Now, Roommate has been rather fond of the fact that I now cook and bake (sorry, Roommate, I still don't see myself ever cleaning.) She actually enjoys my dog treats - a handful for breakfast, dipped in soup, etc. And Roommate is a generous person. An incredibly generous, sweet person.

She offered. I refused. She insisted. I refused. She ordered me into the car. I relented. We went to Big Box #1 first. The only mixer on the shelves was a $90 piece of flimsy plastic. "Please don't waste your money on this," I said. "I'll break the mixers in about five minutes." I calculated the hours and the cookies as we got back in the car...if I started hand-mixing now, I could probably still make it to the post office by morning. Instead of going home, Roommate turned into Big Box #2. And there it was, in all her glory. I refused and refused all the way to the register as Roommate told me to (1) accept and (2) be very, very sure Empire Red was ok as she would not be buying me a new Kitchen Aid. Done, and yes.

I cried. And then I cried because I was crying over a Kitchen Aid, which, I'm pretty sure, represents the Chains of the Patriarchy binding me to a lifetime of barefooted pregnantness. Two months ago, I couldn't even imagine myself baking, let alone wishing for a Kitchen Aid. Through my tears, I promised her a lifetime full of homemade pasta, ravioli, bread, soup, and sausage, as Empress came with a pasta attachment, ravioli attachment, bread hook, grain mill attachment, food processor, and sausage-making attachment.

Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah, Allison.

The Baddogs Do Christmas

I tried for too long to get Jack and Coco to pose. Jack *adores* having his picture taking! He will actually pose for the camera. (Jack actually did a bit of modeling a year or so ago.) Coco, dear thing, is not the most photogenic little creature. Jack get jealous when I tried to stick a Santa hat on Coco, and kept snatching it off. The boy is clearing laughing at me:

I took this after about 45 minutes of fighting with Jack to stop eating the Santa hat:

A change of wardrobe: Coco in her Mrs. Claus outfit. And Jack trying to eat his antlers:

I love this photo.

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Many people travel more during the holiday season. Now is a great time to make sure your vehicle is in good shape for winter driving. Always keep de-icer, an ice scraper, and a child-size shovel in your car. Check your fluids, tires, and lights before heading out. Consider taking a course on how to handle your vehicle on black ice. Keep an especially vigilant watch for drunk drivers on the road, and try to avoid driving at night if at all possible. If you spot a drunk driver, keep a safe distance *behind* the driver.

Also, if you did not do so at Daylight Savings, check your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors!

Kitchen adventures: bread

Such a pleasure to bake!

3 cups flour (I use whole wheat. You can also do a mix of whole wheat and white flour. When I gift bread to others, I generally do half white and half whole wheat.)

1 tablespoon of salt

1 tablespoon of sugar (I use Sugar in the Raw. White sugar is fine, but you must use real sugar, and not a sugar substitute like Splenda.)

1 packet of yeast

1 cup warm water

1-3 tablespoons of olive oil

Knead for at least five minutes. I admit, ever since my mother gave me her old kitchen mixer I've gotten lazy and just let the bread hook attachment do the work. Put a tablespoon of olive oil in a bowl with the ball of dough, coating the entire ball. Cover with a piece of cloth (t-shirts are fine) and put in a warm place for at least an hour. I put mine on top of the radiator for about 2 hours. Once it has risen, punch down. If you're using a loaf pan, place the dough in the loaf pan now. Cover and let rise for about another hour. Bake until golden.

Now, for the fun part: variations!

Fold a whole bulb of roasted garlic into the dough.
Add chopped, lightly sauteed onions. Top bread with bits of onion before baking.
Lots of coarsely chopped green olives. Top bread with some kosher salt before baking.
Mix shredded parmesan cheese into dough, then sprinkle top of bread with cheese.
Sweeten bread with a few tablespoons of honey.


Any other ideas? My favorite is green olive with flax seeds and parmesan. I dip in garlic-flavored olive oil. Delicious :)

*Caution*

Dogs cannot have dough with yeast in it. Yeast thrives and expands to lethal proportions in canine bellies. Be very sure that your dog cannot access your dough while it is rising.

Tip/trick/lesson of the day:
Free samples of Gain detergent.