argh.

This has happened at least a dozen times over the past five years. And I don't get it.

We - me, Jack, Coco - will be walking in the city. Lots of people like to stop and say hi. We like that! But a few people feel compelled to insinuate that I am making some kind of a social comment by having a big handsome fit white boy and a little, so-ugly-she-is-cute, not very fit*, black girl. One an expensive breeder purchase, one a $30 rescue dog. "What, you'll pay for a white dog but not a black dog?! Huh? Huh?" One happy and confident and lovin' life and one who isn't quite sure about life...but she will bark at it.

We're just on a walk, people! No one is "oppressing" anyone else. I judiciously avoid try very hard to avoid giving unsolicited social commentary...and I don't even know how I could use the dogs to illustrate issues on which I would opine.

The worst was Coco's Halloween costume...that one got me cussed at.

At a very crowded fundraiser for a shelter. With as many children at the party as dogs! Who does that?

I would point out that it has always been someone of a specific race and gender making these not-too-kind comments. But specifying that race and gender would, I'm sure, strike some as sexi-racist. Raci-sexist. Nothing sexi about racism!

People are ridiculous. Entirely too much "that offends me as a X" and entirely not enough common sense or manners.

Will adding a black-and-white pup next make it all better? Because Harlequin Great Danes make me smile.

* She came to me at 30lbs! Minpins are supposed to weigh 8-10. She is down to 15, so don't yell at me for having a fat dog :)

Photo from Mid-Atlantic Great Dane Rescue League.

***

Usefulness of the day: Do not put your actual home address as "home" in your GPS. Use the address of a nearby business instead. If your GPS is stolen, do you really want the thief knowing where you sleep at night?

dog safety kit

With all the things Jack (and, to a lesser degree, Coco) has managed to scarf down, you'd think I'd have my act together with a box full of doggie first aid. Nope. But I put one together this weekend after a wee little incident involving Jack and raw bread dough on Easter.

1. Put the ASPCA's pet poison control hotline in your phone. The number is (888) 426-4435 and there is usually a $65 fee. I can't say enough about their hotline; having called it so many times I half-expect them to answer, wearily, "hello, Jack's mom." A vet - not a trained operator - answers quickly, you take care of billing after you get the dog stabilized, and you can call back as many times as you want for the same case.

2. Know the fastest way to a vet ER. Program it into your GPS and have it plugged into your phone.

Drugs

Depending on what the toxin is, contact a vet before administering! Some substances are more dangerous if vomited - acidic, alkaline, and petroleum products, for example.

3. Have fresh hydrogen peroxide (3% USP) on hand to induce vomiting...from experience, I can say that "tickling" the back of the throat does not work!

4. Activated charcoal tablets to absorb toxins

5. Benadryl pills (anti-histamine only)

6. Milk of Magnesia to counteract acids

7. White vinegar to counteract alkalines

8. OTC vet anti-anxiety/sedative

Tools

9. Scissors

10. Good tweezers

11. Turkey baster

12. Needleless syringe (same kind you might find attached to pediatric cough syrup)

13. Eyedropper

14. Rectal thermometer

15. Muzzle

16. Duct tape

17. Penlight

18. Q-tips

19. Tablespoons

20. Large Ziploc bags for storing any samples


Other supplies

20. Beach towels

21. Paper towels

22. Sterile gauze

23. Athletic bandages

24. Blanket or dropcloth for transport

25. Disposable gloves


Food and drink

26. Canned yummy food for giving drugs, such as wet dog food. Peanut butter and sprayable Cheez-Whiz is good, too.

27. Shelf-stable liquid for giving drugs, such as canned milk or broth. Instant mashed potatoes also works.

28. Canned pumpkin. Not pumpkin pie filling, but plain pumpkin. Good for constipation.

29. Bread. Try to keep a loaf on hand.

30. Ice. Try to keep ice in the freezer.



Whew! That's a lot of stuff. Most people have the majority of these items in the house, but it can be very convenient to have them all in one place.



Storytime! Most of our vet emergencies have been real. The time Jack ate 34 sticks of Miracle Grow...or a box of chocolate Ex-Lax...or when Coco ate a Starbucks espresso brownie, thereby turning a $3 treat into a $600 overnight ER trip. But, once, Jack faked a back injury.


I had a friend staying with me for a few weeks and, apparently, Jack felt he wasn't getting enough attention. On New Year's Day, he was on my bed on the fourth floor of a rowhome, crying. The darn dog acted as if he was paralyzed or seriously injured. "How the heck do I get a 120lb dog off a bed, down 4 flights of stairs, down the block, and into the car?" I wondered. I called the ER, who told me they did not have an ambulance service but did give me the number of the Dog Charmer.


Dog. Charmer.


I can't make this up, people! The Dog Charmer came over, whispered into Jack's ear, and within minutes he was limping heavily and whimpering all the way into the car.


Then, after blood work and X-rays and CT scans and the entire vet student night staff of the hospital standing around him trying to figure out what was wrong...a cat walked by. Jack leapt off a high exam table, flew down the hall, stopped, turned, locked eyes with me, and grinned the biggest grin of his life.


Ok, boy. You got what you wanted: more than a dozen caring, concerned people fussing all over you for hours. Never, ever underestimate this dog. When he wants quiet snuggly time and kisses, he will cozy up to me, whimper, and show me where the breeder removed his dewclaws. When he was 6 weeks old.


Ever see those signs in convenience stores, "do not accept checks from this person" with a name and a photo? Yeah, there is still a picture of Jack in the ER nurses' station labeled "FAKER."


He went by a similar-sounding nickname for a few months after that.


Still does.

Jack & Pinecone

Pinecones are a favorite toy. I have no idea why. He doesn't eat them; he just likes to pull them apart, carefully extracting each little pinecone petal and spitting it out. While ignoring chest full of carefully selected dog toys. I love the way the light hits his floppy velvet ears in this photo. Jack adores having his picture taken; he will come running when he hears the 'beep' of the camera. Before he ruined his shiny, coal-black nose rooting around in the dirt, he had a modeling gig or two.

***
You should have the following items in your car:

1. All necessary documents in a sealed plastic baggie. I keep everything inside a box under a car seat as papers have a tendency to get lost in the glove compartment.
2. Quarters and $40 in $1 and $5 bills, stored out of view.
3. A disposable camera to take photos after an accident.
4. High-protein non-perishables like nuts and protein bars. I also keep glucose tablets in the car.
5. Gatorade or a similar sports beverage.
6. Reflectors and/or flares.
7. A basic first aid kit.
8. Any additional medical items specific to your needs.
9. A blanket. Camping stores have solar blankets, but a fleece blanket is fine.
10. A few pieces of extra clothing, including socks and gloves.
11. A kiddie shovel - these are very light.
12. Seasonally appropriate items such as de-icer and a scraper.
13. Windshield wiper fluid.
14. A car cell-phone charger.
15. Paper towels.

Legal Cocktail Chatter: Part I: Unsavory Clients

I am starting a new series called Cocktail Chatter. These questions will be culled from my conversations with non-lawyers - in other words, questions posed to me at cocktail parties and other casual social events. Get a cup of tea, martini, or glass of water and join in!

Why do lawyers defend child molesters/rapists/terrorists?

1. Lawyers took an oath to uphold, protect, and defend the Constitution. Every person has the right to a fair trial. Lawyers do not judge their clients; this is the job of of the jury. A lawyer who defends even an admitted child molester is doing the job he swore to do, and do well.

2. Ethical rules demand that an attorney zealously represent his client. In criminal cases only, the attorney is required by the Rules of Professional Conduct to argue advantageous circumstantial inferences that he knows to be false, though he cannot lie. This is how strong the mandate of "zealousness" is! The general public fails to understand how deeply ingrained this idea of "zealousness" is to the art and practice of law. An attorney is not practicing the ethically mandated zeal when he launches a half-hearted defense. Failure to practice with due zeal can get an attorney disciplined or disbarred.

3. A physician who prescribes life-prolonging blood pressure medication to a known felon does not condone criminal activity when he writes the prescription; he simply promotes the health and well-being of his patient. Similarly, a lawyer who defends a criminal does not support or condone criminal activity, but he does support the Constitutional rights of the accused.

4. Like it or not, the Constitution does not go out the window at the whim of public opinion.

What if you believe your client is innocent at first, but then realize he is not?

While there are some very specific guidelines on when and how a lawyer can "fire" a client, it is ultimately a decision made by the judge. A judge will not allow a client's case to be prejudiced by a sudden change in attorneys. The general rule is that if withdrawal can be done with no prejudice and for with a darn good reason (e.g. the client is using the lawyer to commit fraud), a judge will probably allow it.


Please note that nothing here is to be construed as legal advice. This post does not in any way establish an attorney-client relationship.

Picture credit.

***
Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Do not use your home address on your luggage tags. You do not want strangers or thieves knowing where you sleep. Use a business address instead. Need new luggage tags? Why, here they are, free!

Charity, Cheaply: Part III, Comfort and Joy

Part I can be found here. Part II can be found here.

Many people have taken a serious hit in the stock market. Others have lost their jobs. Most of us are doing some serious budgeting for the worst-case scenario.

But can you spare a stamp and a letter that takes less than an 20 minutes to write?

Consider Make A Child Smile. It's a very simple idea: send a cheery card to a child with a chronic or terminal illness. Please do be sure to read MAC's FAQs, paying particular attention to the "dos and dont's" before mailing off a card and their prohibition against forwarding these addresses to friends. A few minutes spent jotting down an amusing story, etc. can, well, Make a Child Smile.

I really enjoy writing to these children! At the end of a long day, recounting an amusing story is always refreshing and relaxing. Some of these anecdotes are baddog-related, and I have no shortage of funny pictures of the "kids." Or, if the profile indicates that the child enjoys cooking or baking, I'll include a picture and recipe of an easy-to-make snack. A joke concludes the letter. Browse the library or Internet for child-friendly jokes. Try here, here, or here. As MAC specifically instructs, do not tell the child the "get well soon" or include specific religious references - many of these children will never "get well" and the families practice a diverse variety of faiths.

There is certainly no need to send a gift, but I occasionally enclose a small item if I think the child will enjoy it. No food items, as per MAC's rules. More than one child has professed a fondness for lip gloss, so I'll tuck in a particularly yummy flavor. Some ideas come from my mother's adventures with cancer earlier this year. When my mother was in chemotherapy and radiation, I made sure to keep her stocked with plenty of super-moisturizing body treats as radiation can dry out the skin. I also sent her some ginger candies to help with nausea and to give her some flavor, as she was forbidden to eat. Finally, because my mother was in lots of pain and unable to sit or lie down for more than a few minutes at a time due to the location of the cancer, I gave her several puzzles, which can not only be completed while standing, but abandoned and revisted as appointments and illness dictates. Simple, inexpensive treats - but they can bring lots of joy and comfort to someone!

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Please, please, please do remember to clear the ice and snow from the roof of your car before driving! A chunk of ice that flies from your roof can kill the person behind you. Even if the snow looks light and powdery, there can be a dangerous layer of ice hiding underneath. Also, free coffee.

Charity, Cheaply: Part III, Comfort and Joy

Part I can be found here. Part II can be found here.

Many people have taken a serious hit in the stock market. Others have lost their jobs. Most of us are doing some serious budgeting for the worst-case scenario.

But can you spare a stamp and a letter that takes less than an 20 minutes to write?

Consider Make A Child Smile. It's a very simple idea: send a cheery card to a child with a chronic or terminal illness. Please do be sure to read MAC's FAQs, paying particular attention to the "dos and dont's" before mailing off a card and their prohibition against forwarding these addresses to friends. A few minutes spent jotting down an amusing story, etc. can, well, Make a Child Smile.

I really enjoy writing to these children! At the end of a long day, recounting an amusing story is always refreshing and relaxing. Some of these anecdotes are baddog-related, and I have no shortage of funny pictures of the "kids." Or, if the profile indicates that the child enjoys cooking or baking, I'll include a picture and recipe of an easy-to-make snack. A joke concludes the letter. Browse the library or Internet for child-friendly jokes. Try here, here, or here. As MAC specifically instructs, do not tell the child the "get well soon" or include specific religious references - many of these children will never "get well" and the families practice a diverse variety of faiths.

There is certainly no need to send a gift, but I occasionally enclose a small item if I think the child will enjoy it. No food items, as per MAC's rules. More than one child has professed a fondness for lip gloss, so I'll tuck in a particularly yummy flavor. Some ideas come from my mother's adventures with cancer earlier this year. When my mother was in chemotherapy and radiation, I made sure to keep her stocked with plenty of super-moisturizing body treats as radiation can dry out the skin. I also sent her some ginger candies to help with nausea and to give her some flavor, as she was forbidden to eat. Finally, because my mother was in lots of pain and unable to sit or lie down for more than a few minutes at a time due to the location of the cancer, I gave her several puzzles, which can not only be completed while standing, but abandoned and revisted as appointments and illness dictates. Simple, inexpensive treats - but they can bring lots of joy and comfort to someone!

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Please, please, please do remember to clear the ice and snow from the roof of your car before driving! A chunk of ice that flies from your roof can kill the person behind you. Even if the snow looks light and powdery, there can be a dangerous layer of ice hiding underneath. Also, free coffee.

The Baddogs Do Christmas

I tried for too long to get Jack and Coco to pose. Jack *adores* having his picture taking! He will actually pose for the camera. (Jack actually did a bit of modeling a year or so ago.) Coco, dear thing, is not the most photogenic little creature. Jack get jealous when I tried to stick a Santa hat on Coco, and kept snatching it off. The boy is clearing laughing at me:

I took this after about 45 minutes of fighting with Jack to stop eating the Santa hat:

A change of wardrobe: Coco in her Mrs. Claus outfit. And Jack trying to eat his antlers:

I love this photo.

***

Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Many people travel more during the holiday season. Now is a great time to make sure your vehicle is in good shape for winter driving. Always keep de-icer, an ice scraper, and a child-size shovel in your car. Check your fluids, tires, and lights before heading out. Consider taking a course on how to handle your vehicle on black ice. Keep an especially vigilant watch for drunk drivers on the road, and try to avoid driving at night if at all possible. If you spot a drunk driver, keep a safe distance *behind* the driver.

Also, if you did not do so at Daylight Savings, check your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors!