smile!

It is rare for Coco to smile, and especially rare to have a camera in hand when it happens and have my subject actually looking in the camera's general direction. She only smiles when the skies are sunny and it is at least 80 degrees out. And yes, I do realize she is still in her hoodie on a 93 degree afternoon.


Why so happy? Because Roommate had the weedwacker out, and this is incredibly exciting for Coco. Most dogs are scared of even a vacuum cleaner, but my little girl just grins.

Barn

The sky blue against the red was irresistible.

Lilacs

I opened the large central window of my office room to its full on the fine early May morning. Then I stood for a few moments, breathing in the soft, warm air that was charged with the scent of white lilacs below. Angus Wilson

These lilacs are not nearly as fragrant as they were last year. I'm not sure why. Anyone?

***

Usefulness of the day: Use code LUCKY to get a $25 gift card for only $2 at restaurant.com. I use these all the time! Just be sure you understand any conditions; some gift cards are not valid on Saturday nights, others require you purchase 2 entrees, etc.

looks can be deceiving...

Such a noble looking creature.
Would you believe he helped himself to a big bag of trash today?

How does your garden grow?

Alas, no cockle shells, but a good amount of silver bells.

I found this hanging from a low tree. I forgot to bring this one in at the end of the season. What is it? A silver bell strung to a tree by a Fourth of July wire garland. I wired these bells all over the yard in an effort to keep the birds out of the garden. Birds, I learned, don't much care for shiny, metallic items, particularly ones that make noises. Pinwheels were recommended and rejected due to their resemblance to dog toys. Bells could be securely wired to plant supports, and moved up as the plants grew. I wired the leftover bells to the lower tree branches to discourage even the spectators.

Sherry Austin and Martha Scanlan

I was on my way to pick up Jack from the groomer's this morning, deliberately taking the longest route there so I could listen to Car Talk. I caught a snippet of a song played just before a commercial and was so taken with those few lines that I scrambled to pull over and jot down the lyrics. After picking up Jack from a groomer who kindly dubbed him "our talkative one," I headed home for some Googling and discovered...Sherry Austin. Along the way I also found Martha Scanlan.

I swear, I was so meant to be a nice Southern girl.

(The song is "Hallelujah," written by Martha Scanlan and performed by Sherry Austin.)

the first tulip

Taken in early evening light. I'm still trying to figure out lighting and exposure, and my best photos come either from a day with gray skies, gray late afternoons, or sunny evenings.

And then, one day later...

Kitchen Adventures: Using every last scrap...

...of spaghetti squash.

Cut the squash in half. Lest you accidentally stab yourself while trying to halve it, warm for a few minutes in a toaster oven (or a few seconds in the microwave if you have one.) You can also stab the squash multiple times and bake whole, but that's not nearly as fun. Unless you're into that.

Scrape out the innards.

Reserve the seeds. Spread in a single-seed layer, drizzle with evoo, sprinkle with salt, and toast.
Drizzle evoo over a pan and place each half upside-down. I bake larger squashes at 375 for 45-60 minutes, depending on size.
The stringy, squashy innards I removed after halving? I boil them with water, puree, and pour over the dogs' kibble.

Scrape out the baked squash, fluff with a fork, drizzle with evoo, and top with a sprinkle of salt or shredded cheese. You can also eat your meal "in the boat." Compost the shells.

Spaghetti squash is a great dish for those who are watching their calories (42 calories per cup) or carbs. It does not have much of a squashy flavor, and it's fun to make.

The last photo perfectly captures Jack's personality. Food is serious business. He knows he'll get it - one way or another - and so he waits. Patient and steady and somber-eyed.

Irresponsible Hysteria

I subscribe to Bill Keller's daily devotional emails. I don't agree with 100% of what he says or how he approaches certain matters, but many days I'm blessed by his emails. I emailed him last year, and he - personally - phoned me several times with an answer and a few follow-ups. He is one of the few people whom I honestly believe truly means it when he closes his messages with a simple "I love you." That said, I was disappointed nearly to the point of feeling ill by Wednesday's email. With the subject line "I'll be in jail one day soon for preaching the Bible!" he launches into the following:

I told you by the end of the year, there would be laws on the books making it ILLEGAL to speak out against the sin of homosexuality, every [sic] from the Bible. That could actually be a reality within the next month as Congress is seeking to jam such a bill through THIS WEEK!

I know that people have differing views on homosexuality, but that is not the point here. Nor am I trying to start a debate on homosexuality either - let me be clear on that. I also know that many of us have strong feelings on homosexuality. That's fine, too. What is not fine - or responsible - is to resort to hysteria and untruths. If you present a problem, publicize it, and urge immediate action, please, do your research. In addition to being flat-out wrong, I'm sure that the sponsors of the bill and who knows how many legislators are wasting too much valuable time responding to concerned - but ill-informed - citizens. Though I am using Mr. Keller's email for this post, a similar sentiment that "unless we act now, we will be forbidden to read from the Bible!" can be found in many mainstream religious groups (usually Christian).

I strongly suspect that Mr. Keller is channeling Ake Green, a Swedish pastor, who was found guilty of offending homosexuals in a 2003 sermon in which he described homosexuality as "abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumour in the body of society." Sweden does not function under the United States Constitution. Even if the proposed law Mr. Keller references did seek to circumvent the Constitution - which it does not - such a law would immediately be litigated and ultimately overturned.

I believe that Mr. Keller is referring to H. R. 1592, a hate-crime prevention act that expands hate-crime status to a crime where the crime is specifically# motivated by "actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability of the victim." Speech is not a hate crime, and speech is not even an issue in H.R. 1592, which is quite clear that a hate crime can be only one that involves "assault, aggravated assault, or shooting." To be even clearer, the bill refers only to criminal assault.+ And, to be perfectly clear for the benefit of those who whip themselves into a frenzy over the phrase "sexual orientation", the bill closes with the following:

Nothing in this Act, or the amendments made by this Act, shall be construed to prohibit any expressive conduct protected from legal prohibition by, or any activities protected by the free speech or free exercise clauses of, the First Amendment to the Constitution. [emphasis mine]

Rumors like "religious leaders will be sued/jailed for reading from Leviticus" or "priests will be forced to marry same-sex couples" are just that - rumors. There is a firm respect for religious practice in the religious sphere. Houses of worship enjoy a tax-exempt status. The Salvation Army is free to legally discriminate against homosexuals. Heck, if smoking peyote is a bona fide, integral part of your religious practice, go and toke up. [This is not legal advice and I am referencing State v. Mooney.] Though it is not my area, case law on religious freedom in the religious sphere seems quite strong - and the purported punishment for a politically incorrect sermon absolutely and obviously violative of that tradition.

Even more absurd is this idea that the government can force a religious leader to perform same-sex, interracial, or interreligious marriages. A county court clerk can certainly face orders to perform a same-sex civil ceremony where same-sex marriage is the law because a government official is charged with upholding the law. A government employee does not have the discretion to only enforce laws he finds to his liking.* If there is an example of a religious leader forced violate his religious beliefs on a religious matter, I can't find it.** Indeed, there is no shortage of instances of a religious group enjoying freedom from matters a non-religious group does not. For example, a church employer is free to discriminate against women as Sunday School teachers if the reasoning is grounded in a bona fide in interpretation of Paul; a secular employer is obviously not.

What is especially curious about Mr. Keller's prediction is that such a proposed law would violate not only the Constitutional prohibition against excessive government entanglement with religion, but also the prohibition against the government infringing the right to speech. I won't launch into a full history lesson on free speech as I think we all know the basics. There are clear-cut tests for when the government can limit speech, and limiting anti-homosexuality speech would fail the test. To be sure, painting "abomination!" in blood on Ellen DeGeneres' front door would likely constitute harassment - but so, too, a racial epithet. The government can usually regulate speech-related conduct - rarely content. Thus, the government can require that the Westboro Baptist Church secure a permit prior to protesting (regulating conduct), but not refuse the permit due to their message (content). If Mr. Keller wishes to preach against homosexuality from the pulpit, he can do so knowing the Constitution protects his speech - and that H.R. 1592 does, too.

# The motivation is crucial for a crime to rise to the level of hate-crime status. Mugging a black person because you want money is not a hate crime. Pushing a black person to the ground, yelling racial slurs, stomping on his head, and then stealing his wallet is likely a hate crime because the racial slurs indicate that the crime was motivated by race. Contrary to popular opinion, hate-crime legislation does not create new crimes, nor does it make hate or hate speech illegal. It simply adds an additional punishment to the underlying crime where there is clear evidence that hate was a motivating factor.

+ Criminal and civil assault are two different creatures. Civil assault is intentional act that causes a reasonable apprehension an imminent harmful or offensive contact to or about the body that is unconsented. It need not involve actual contact; the reasonable fear of an imminent contact is assault. If you are approached by someone who shoves a knife in your face and demands your wallet, you probably have a reasonable fear that the knife is about to make an immediate, harmful contact with your body and you did not consent to such contact. That is a civil assault. Note, however, that there must be an act. Mere speech is not enough. Thus, if you quote Leviticus while waving a gun in his face, you've probably given that person a reasonable fear of an imminent and harmful contact of the gun or bullet to his body.

* Some higher-level government employees do enjoy some discretionary powers, but such powers are limited and generally clearly enumerated.

** The courts are clear, however, that freedom of religious practice does not include the right to engage in ritual murder or child sexual abuse. Serious legal crimes where someone is killed or abused seem to be the limit. The use of certain hallucinogenic drugs (State v. Mooney, 98 P.3d 420 (Utah 2004)) and ritual animal sacrifice (Church of Lukumi Babalu Aye v. City of Hialeah, 508 U.S. 520 (1993)), have been upheld as religious rights.

a night out

Friend and I took four dogs and one husband to a party at Petsmart yesterday. First, we played musical chairs. Coco, still working on "sit", was the first one out. Doubtless she thought that meant she was #1.

Jack, who becomes suprisingly obedient when food is involved, won a $10 gift card. Good boy, Jack!

There was a photo session, too, but the line was too long for us. Everyone came back to my place for dinner. I put them in their Petsmart bandanas and tried to get a picture of all four dogs, together. Instead, I got this from the boy who can never resist the camera:

A few hours later, I had two dogs, quietly passed out. Which is really the entire point of these excurions and playdates.
We walked away with a ton of goody bags items for out local shelter. I also grabbed a coupon book before realizing I don't purchase any of the included brands. Anyone want all or part of the book?

- Dog highlights include: free nail trim, coupons from Purina (variety of dry food, wet food, and treats), training pads, diapers, various supplements, Firstshield flea treatment.
- Cat highlights include: $5 off Tidy Cats litter, a buy-2-get-1-free Tidy Cats litter, and a variety of Purina items. Also, $10 off a Comfort Zone Diffuser, which I imagine is some kind of feline aromatherapy kit. Made with Feliway!
- $10 off "habitat" cages for bunnies, guinea pigs and...large mice.
Email me w/ your address if you do. First come.

smelling salts, please

It's not a mouse. It's a...large mouse. Roommate, who handles our home's icky affairs, reports a large, long-whiskered, long-haired, long-tailed mouse in the trap. "Are you sure it wasn't just a fat mouse?" I wailed. These guys have been feasting on cocoa butter for almost a week! I made Roommate repeat the description: large, long whiskers, long tail, long hair, light brown. Light brown? "Oh!" I exclaimed. "Rats do not come in light brown, only black, and white for lab rats." In an official, know-it-all tone, I continued. "If it was light brown, it was probably...a vole." "A vole?" she asked. Now, I heard of a vole once. I think they're gray rodents. Close enough. "Oh yes, voles. I see them at night sometimes in the yard." Completely making it up as I went, I added more details. "Voles are common in the area and they are bigger than mice and light brown and quite sneaky to boot. They are actually originally from Africa, but were introduced to the country during the slave trade era. It makes sense that they were attracted to the cocoa butter in the soap, because coconuts were their main food source back in Africa."

I have no idea whether there are even coconuts in Africa, and I think Roommate, being a farm girl, knows perfectly well what a vole looks like and that large mice come in light brown. But for now, we can both sleep convinved that our resident critter is just a cute stowaway from the tropics. Tropics of Africa.

The good news is that the voles are confined to a single back room in the basement. Roommate found their entryway and sealed it with sheet metal using some kind of fun-looking tool. That small room is now layered with more traps and baited with, of course, cocoa butter.

Honestly, if I was anything more than a glass-with-dinner sort of girl, I'd have a very stiff drink in my hands right now. I know that some of you have to contend with Texas-sized flying cockroaches, tarantuas, and snakes, and are probably giggling at a rodent. Which is why, sorry, I won't be visiting you.

***
Free party at Petsmart tonight, 6-8pm.

Picture credit.

Free Cone Day!

Don't forget that April 21st, noon to 8pm, is Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's. Personally, I'm partial to Sweet Cream & Cookie or Cinnamon Buns. You?

ready, set, kill!

So read the instructions on a newly purchased mouse trap. How's that for clarity?

A few months ago, I started my little handmade bath products business. The finished products are packaged as soon as they are made, but the raw materials - hemp oil, baking soda, citric acid - are kept in the basement in a lidded container. I accidentally left a 5lb brick of hemp oil soap out in the open and...discovered that the mice have been having little 4/20 parties for a few days. That particular batch was scented with alyssum and lemons oils, and was irresistible to the mice. Who knew? Soap? Worse, I put a lot of cocoa butter in the soap, which means the mice are probably too chubby to fit in the traps. We will find out soon!

(Now, lest any of you are reaching for the cyber-Purell, I am not a dirty person. Mice are a fact of life living in the city where every home is connected to the other.)

***

Usefulness of the day: I don't know why this works, but it does. If you feel nauseous, rub an ice cube or cold washcloth on your inner wrists and inner elbows.

The patient

She was once the nurse, but she was the patient this weekend...

A small injury to the paw. It is extremely tough to trim Coco's nails as her prior owners let the nail bed grow out and it is nearly impossible to distinguish the black quick from the black nail. Roommate was trimming them outside when she accidentally nicked the quick. Judging by the placid expression on her face, Coco was completely oblivious to everything. Probably distracted by the pretty lights on the camera. That blank, slightly bewildered look lifts only when her two brain cells collide. Roommate, however, was quite upset given the amount of blood and the fact that Coco was adopted from an abusive home. Improperly healed broken ribs, a hacked-off tail, and who knows what else. Anyway. To keep the area clean, I wrapped it in gauze, cellophane, and tape. Here is Roommate holding the patient, who was scampering around and barking at the neighbors five minutes later.

Jack was peeved that no one paid any attention to him during the first aid session. He sulked outside for a while, then showed me where his dewclaws were removed nine years ago in an effort to get some sympathetic snuggles, too.
***

Usefulness of the day: If you accidentally over-salt a soup, stew, or sauce, toss a peeled potato into the pot and remove after 10 or so minutes. The potato will absorb the salt. Repeat as necessary.

Susan Boyle is ugly

If there is anything "ugly" about Susan Boyle, it is our reaction to her. Her story is too often prefaced with something along the lines of "it is such a surprise that something so beautiful can come from someone like that." More often than not, her voice is juxtaposed with her face and physique. Despite her bushy eyebrows*, despite her graying hair, despite her allegedly unfashionable frock, despite her lack of make-up...she can sing. Are we so dim-witted that we honestly believe that a public skill like acting or singing springs only from a slim-hipped, long-legged, pouty-lipped lass? Apparently. I've decided that America** is rapidly losing its smarts, evidenced primarily by the prevalance of kick-to-the-groin humor in movie previews, and much of the Susan Boyle chatter tends to confirm it.

And, for the record, I don't find Ms. Boyle particularly unattractive. She has a very interesting face, and interesting faces are always attractive.

Anyway.

Tanya Gold asks:

Why are we so shocked when "ugly" women can do things, rather than sitting at home weeping and wishing they were somebody else? Men are allowed to be ugly and talented. Alan Sugar looks like a burst bag of flour. Gordon Ramsay has a dried-up riverbed for a face. Justin Lee Collins looks like Cousin It from The Addams Family. Graham Norton is a baboon in mascara. I could go on. But a woman has to have the bright, empty beauty of a toy - or get off the screen. We don't want to look at you. Except on the news, where you can weep because some awful personal tragedy has befallen you.

Ms. Gold is onto something here. Unless she is pumped full of plastic and silicone and preferably shows a little bit of tanned leg, we have zero desire to see women over 35 or so on television until she hits the kindly, pleasantly plump grandmother stage. And while she is in the public view, the eye turns suddenly and intensely critical. Hillary Clinton's pantsuits. Michella Obama's arms. And remember the various cries of (of all things!) sexism when a major magazine did not Photoshop Sarah Palin's cover shot? McCain's camp knew exactly what they were doing when they picked a slim, sexy woman. Sexy enough to appeal to men, but demure enough to keep female jealousy at bay. Brilliant.

But I digress. My point is that we treat women in the public eye almost as we would a fine meal: presentation counts just as much as taste. My sincere hope for Susan Boyle is that she resists frenzied attempts to re-package her into something more pleasing to American scrutiny.

As a side note, I'm especially curious as to how we will wrestle with the sexuality of Susan Boyle. She is a virgin, she still "needs" her first kiss; no doubt we will see attempts to change than in the coming weeks. With that sassy wiggle of her hips and confidence in the face of smirks and eye-rolls, she reminds everyone that sexuality and being 47 are not mutually exclusive. How will we - who sexualize little girls up until they hit 30 or so - approach this? (And I am only half-joking when I wonder when Playboy will approach her.)

* Though I highly recommend getting one's eyebrows professionally done. It's the only treatment I do and worth every cent. Just be sure to ask around and solicit referrals from women with natural-looking brows - the over-plucked arch flatters no one.

** I'm limiting this to the American audience as that is the one with which I am most familiar.

~*~*~*~*~

Usefulness of the day: Now is a great time to buy winter gear. If you're not in the market for a warm coat yourself, remember that you can stretch your charitable dollar by stocking up on gloves, hats, and other winter items in the spring.

Picture credit.

Winner!

Jack won the Marley Has A Mischief contest! Personally, though, I thought the entry with the Boston terrier slinking away from the destroyed couch was the best. Judging by the comments, some voters felt that trash is easy to clean up, but that sticky paste of drool and flour is not. Here are more pictures from that day...(and I want to point out that I was only out of the house for 15 minutes when this happened!)

Finally, someone else believes that Jack really is one of the worst dogs out there. When I read Marley & Me, I spent most of the time shaking my head at how easy Marley's owners had it! Marley, for example, was only kicked out of one obedience class - unlike certain boys who were expelled from multiple classes and felt by some trainers that he should be put down. Some dogs are simply far too smart for their own good. I feel a bit sad when I realize that Jack would have made a fantastic guide dog for someone, but then quickly remember that he'd take over. "Lady, you don't want to go there. Let's go here instead. Just trust me."

***

Usefulness of the day: To remove wet sticky flour from uphostery, I first attacked it with a damp cloth. Then a vacuum. Then a credit card to scrape. Then I let it dry and scraped with a credit card and razor blade. Repeat. All the while reminding myself that this is why there is one piece of furniture exclusively for the dogs.

lake & mountains

Now, I am just in the very beginning stages of getting to know my camera. I haven't even begun to learn about lighting and things like that. The weather this past weekend was rather fickle, alternating sunny and gray in rapid fashion. I took a whole bunch in a gray evening, and I think that's my favorite time and color of day right now. The first photo is from that batch.

Sittin' on the dock

Behind my parents' home. Don't jump in - there is still ice on the lake.

***

Usefulness of the day: Use code J89LA2 for a free Redbox rental.

Vote for me!

I entered this picture in a contest for naughty dogs and...Jack is in the top 5!

You can vote here. Click on your favorite photo, then click on the fifth hamburger icon to vote.

Travel goodies

I stopped by my library for some goodies to keep me entertained during travel this weekend...

A season's worth of Fawlty Towers. Possibly the funniest show ever.

Two mysteries by Louise Penny. I'm reading the first and second books in the series on this trip. I read the third novel, The Cruelest Month, several months ago and simply could not put it down - though once I did, I hungered for more. Highly recommended, especially for those who say they do not enjoy mysteries! Beautiful writing style, memorable characters. Set in a quaint Quebec village.

A documentary on Biblical archaeology.

Ariel Custer by Grace Livingston Hill.

That should keep me occupied.

hmmm

I really just have no words for this. "Ouch!" comes to mind, but I don't think that is nearly sufficient...

***

Usefulness of the day: Coupons. Also, use code SEASON to get a $25 gift certificate for $4 at restaurant.com. I use these all the time, but be sure you read the conditions: you might have to purchase 2 entrees, certificate might not work on a Saturday night, etc.

Picture credit.

Earth laughs in flowers

Anyone know what kind of tree makes these lovely coral flowers? I am trying to identify flowers, trees, and plants by their proper name this year as opposed to "those tiny little white upside-down bell-shaped things by the stairs."* Irises I know because they're one of few flowers that look as though they lost a fight with a lawnmover. Tulips, too, as my mother irritated the neighbors by planting black* tulips next to purple irises and some kind of neon yellow flower. I got to know peonies and lilacs last year, too. The rest? I just shrug and remark how pretty they are.

* That would be lily-of-the-valley.
** Actually a very deep, striking eggplant.

***
Usefulness of the day: Toss an apple in with your potatoes to keep the latter from budding. (spudding?)

because I am trying to learn how to use my camera...

More daffodils...

For some reason, a little clutch of daffodils decided to spring up right in the corner where Jack prefers to relieve himself. They most certainly were not there last year, so I'm rather curious as to how they arrived in that particular scrap of dead grass. I snipped and brought them inside, leaving the ones who had the good sense to root themselves elsewhere to remain.

***

Usefulness of the day: Free Dunkin' Donuts coffee and one free small coffee from Seattle's Best on Monday.