we're back

This guy is, hands down, the best traveler ever. He should totally be confined behind a gate in my trunk, but traumatic memories of an unfortunate incident involving his tail and the trunk door linger. No matter. He settles right into the rear seat and stares out the window. And, here, gently rests his weary traveler's head as we are at a standstill on the Mass Pike on Christmas Eve afternoon. (You didn't think I'd start snapping cell phone photos while moving, did you?)

Being such a good boy and traveling 1000 miles through six states and back in less than a week is exhausting. So is dealing with those with whom we graced with our presence visited. After inching through a snowy Connecticut and sitting for an hour on the Garden State Parkway today, we are home. A big pot of my latest addiction - bok choy, celery, and water chestnut soup - is simmering away as the washer, dryer, and dishwasher do their respective duties with their respective faint white noises. I finally, finally, finally lugged back most of my books from my parents' house this trip, and have a ton of organizing* to do tomorrow. And, well, because my books are dear and close to my heart, a similar amount of reminiscing as well.

But that can wait.

For now, I am snuggled in fleece and down, sipping tea, and looking forward to watching a little television before an early bedtime. Such a nice warm cozy end to an interesting weekend.



* Is anyone else so particular about organizing books as I am? I feel just dreadfully out of sorts if Novel With Cocaine, Frankenstein, The Stranger, and The First Man are not snuggled in together or if my dear Tess is on the same shelf as The Razor's Edge...please tell me I'm not the only one.

prayer request

After an interesting visit with the family, I am heading home tomorrow morning. Please pray for safe travels...I hate driving long distances, especially in the snow/rain that is predicted. Thank you!

oy effin' vey

I've only been here since Thursday night and I have already made several "please just let me vent" phone calls to friends.

Next time I visit, someone remind me to secretly videotape my family...I just need objective proof that I am not the crazy one.

My therapist is gonna need it.

I still have a dozen half-finished posts from that frugality series I started (and will re-start), but, trust me, the new "oy effin' vey" series will be far more interesting. There will be dog poop, a flat tire, and a whole lot of cussin'.

I hope you are all faring well. I'm presently home alone, curled up with a certain Lab, and enjoying the gorgeous, peaceful views of mountains and a frozen lake, wishing I had a human with me to witness this insanity and laugh about it.

Prayer request

Please pray for safe travel...I have a ton of driving to do this weekend, starting first thing tomorrow morning. Thanks!

Merry Christmas from Jack and Coco

I find tinsel distracting.

Happy Festivus!

oh fudge!

This insane pile o' sugar?I was all set to make a few loaves of my killer garlic asiago bread as gifts, but got distracted by the candy canes at the grocery store and somehow decided to whip up some fudge instead.

I've never made fudge before. This may or may not have been a good idea.

I started off with a batch of plain chocolate, then made a big tray of chocolate peanut butter.

Trippy, man.

Then some white chocolate peppermint fudge, dressed up with a little food coloring...
and crushed candy canes!

All three batches are cooling in the fridge...recipe to follow if they turn out ok.

Edited to add: white chocolate peppermint fudge

5 cups white sugar

1 big container Fluff - I think it is 17oz

1 stick butter

1 teaspoon salt

24oz white chocolate chips

1 tablespoon vanilla

2+ tablespoons peppermint extract

Red food coloring

Candy canes/peppermint candies

Wax paper

Crush the candy canes and set aside. Over low heat, combine and constantly stir sugar, Fluff, and butter until the soft ball stage. Turn off heat and stir in salt, chocolate chips, vanilla and peppermint extract. If you want the batch to be totally pink or red, also add the food coloring. When the chips are totally melted and blended, carefully pour into a wax paper-lined tray. Dot the top of fudge with food coloring and gently - with a fork and using a curlique pattern - swirl the top. Top with crushed candy canes and every-so-gently pat into fudge. Let cool for several hours and then cut.

Bok choy, celery, and water chestnut soup

My sister gave me these adorable measuring cups for Christmas last year. I didn't actually get to open the gift until this Thanksgiving, and I was so eager to try them out! (I believe these are still on sale at Anthropologie.) They are so impractical, but look so sweet next to my Kitchen Aid!

After too many holiday soirees - and too many salty processed holiday snacks - all I wanted was a big bowl of light, green, crunchy soup. This is it.

4+ cups chopped bok choy

4+ cups chopped celery

1 can sliced water chestnuts

4+ tablespoons Bragg Liquid Aminos

5+ garlic cloves, pressed

1-2+ tablespoons lemon juice

2+ tablespoons olive oil

Cayenne, parsley, and thyme - all to taste

Combine Bragg's, freshly pressed garlic, lemon juice (freshly squeezed is best), and olive oil in a cup, give a gentle stir, and set aside. Wash and chop 4+ cups each of bok choy and celery, add to a pot, add water to cover, and the liquids. When veggies are about halfway done, dump in a can of sliced water chestnuts. At this time, also sample the broth and add more Bragg's, garlic, or lemon juice if desired. Shake in some cayenne, parsley, and thyme. Do not omit the cayenne!

This is so simple and so good. It is a tasty and nearly calorie-free way to eat your greens. If you are watching your calories, though, do not omit the olive oil. Your body can't absorb the nutrients from the vegetables without the fat (which is also why you should pass on fat-free salad dressing.)

snowed in

As of this morning, we have two feet of snow. Drifting snow added a third foot to the snow around and on top of my car. Fortunately, I have a friend staying with me who decided to wake up extra early and burn off last night's calories by digging out my car and driveway! Sweet, smart girl. We both grew up in Arctic Frozen Tundras and thus know how to appropriately prepare for a snow day. Bread and milk? Pffft. That's what the amateurs do. How about herbalicious crackers, brie, and Ketel One? Oooh, and plenty of trashy television you're too embarassed to admit you enjoy?

It's just a little too much snow for me. Even Jack, who was ecstatic over the first foot, was decidely less enthused about doing his business in all that powder. Pansy. Coco gives me pathetic, heart-rending Big Eyes when I plop her keister outside. The roads are a mess as the entire Mid-Atlantic region eschews plows. Seriously. I'm at a total loss to explain this. All I know is that I lived in central NY state for a year, perched on top of a steep hill...and never missed a single day. Not even when it snowed in May.

I also miss living smack dab in the middle of the city...right now I'm about 5-10 minutes away. 10 minutes on a clear day, that is. I wanted to be sure the apartments were shoveled out and had to venture out. Fortunately, I actually know how to drive in the snow. Slow down. No driving on unplowed roads unless you know your car can clear it. Clear off the vehicle's roof. Slow down. No passing unless absolutely necessary. Slow down. Little lessons someone neglected to teach Philly drivers. I mean, where the heck do these people think they're going at 11am on a Sunday? And do they really think I'm just stopped because I'm, you know, hanging out, and not because, oh, the guy in front of me is stalled because he took his tiny little sedan for a spin?

Unfortunately, one has to be exceedingly polite when there is a not-insignificant statistical likelihood that the driver honking at you (1) carries and (2) has a temper. I'm all for (1), but (1) + (2)? No, no.

In the meantime, I haven't sent out a single card. The number of wipe-outs (and number of sexxxy bruises on my frostbitten rear end) corresponds to the number of inches of snow. My floors are a mess of muddy paw prints, which I'd like to blame on a certain dog who chewed up my mop but can't because I'm not planning on mopping until the snow is melted. I want to see Avatar. I miss that intense heat I was probably cursing three months ago. I just watched Gracie's Choice and depleting my stash of Kleenex. Darn you, Lifetime!

snow dog

What I've been up to lately...

I got sick.
I hate being sick. It is so rare for me to ever feel even the slightest bit off, so a little sniffle turns me into a tantrum-throwing big baby. I was been sniffling and throwing pity parties and sniffling for a full two weeks. Me? Sick?

Went to the grocery store and threw a whole mess of lotions and potions and pills into my basket. I came upon the "unstuff my head before I hack it off" aisle and targeted the Sudafed. The problem with a sick me is that I can't take the majority of cold/cough/flu medications as they contain ingredients that induce most unpleasant hallucinations. Not Sudafed, though. I noticed that "real" Sudafed can only be sold from behind the pharmacist's counter now, and, as we all know, that's where the good stuff is! Having not had any reason to purchase a decongestant in the past decade, I could not remember why one is now required to sign for real Sudafed and limited to a set number of purchases each month.

I learned about meth.
Ah, that's it: meth. Now, I'm a very curious person. Many things fascinate me, and many, many more attract my curiousity. I've long accepted that the fact that I query "how?" or "why?" instead of "ewwww!" to just about anything is a bit unusual. Evidently, meth uses real, honest Sudafed as a base for the drug. Now, most people would wonder why someone would choose to ingest a subtance, but I...well, I wonder how the heck someone decided that cooking up chemicals X, Y, and Z would produce a far out high, man.

I also wonder how someone learned that coffee berries ingested, digested, and execreted by a cat makes for the world's best cup of coffee. But that is a story for another day.

Plant-based drugs - pot, hashish, opium, cocaine - those all make sense to me. Find a plant, maybe dry it out or crush it or something - then get it into your body. Sensible. Logical.

But whisking up a brew of cold medicine, nail polish, alcohol, gasoline, drain cleaner, ether, fertilizer, salt, battery acid, and hydrogen peroxide?

I would love to meet the inventor of meth just so I learn how he did it and why. I am tempted to think of the inventor as sort of an Ikea designer. Ikea designers say, "we need a table that costs $35." The design doesn't happen until after the price is set. Cost is the constraint. I suspect that the local CVS was this inventor's constraint. "We need a fun drug that only contains items sold by CVS." Or something.

I just want to know what the inventor's thought process was. That's all.

I imagine he's six feet under, though. Meth will do that to ya.

I got better, then un-better.

Finally, I felt better. I woke up and had zero need for anything beginning with "thera" or "suda." Then I tripped over my feet and slammed my head into the bathtub. The result? My teeth did not go through my lower lip, but I was left with a painful heckuva "that's gonna leave a mark."

It's a good thing my parents did not name me Grace.

Or Chastity, for that matter.

Kidding.

I learned how quickly lips heal.

Day 1 I really couldn't be seen in public...or eat or talk. Day 2 I was fit for a late-night drive-though smoothie. By Day 3, though, I was willing to run basic, familiar errands where I would only see clecks who would make fun of me...not ask whether I felt Safe At Home.

I want that lip-filler surgery.

If I blurred my eyes such that the teeth marks were barely visible, I rather liked the stung-by-a-whole-hive-o-angry-angry-bees look. That look is rapidly deflating - see above - and if I didn't aready know how much swollen sexy lips hurt hurt hurt, I'd be tempted.

I have no clue what I am doing for Christmas, nor have I mailed out any cards or wrapped any gifts.

The plan was to do photo cards with me and the dogs, but the bathtub incident nixed that. With no time to go homemade, I picked up a box of surprisingly lovely cards and will get them in the mail on Saturday. I just hope the post office hasn't run out of Kwanzaa stamps like they did last year. I affix my cards with Kwanzaa stamps so that the secular, Christian, and Jewish recipients won't get offended by the Virgin, dreidel, or Santa, respectively, on the envelope...after a few snippy comments from offended secularists, Christians, and Jews, two years ago, I went Kwanzaa half in protest, half in jest...and haven't heard a peep since.

Because that's what you do when you receive a card wishing you and yours well...you phone the well-wisher and get snippy.

I guess that's my issue, not yours.

Unless you're a snippy sort of secularist, Christian, or Jew...in which case, you totally have issues.

I watched the news and regretted it.

Which is why I don't watch the news. Tiger Woods? Idiot, idiot, idiot and I can't begin to imagine the pain he has caused. That photoshopped holiday card showing Elin with a golf club and Tiger with multiple facial injuries? Offensive and disgusting. Jersey Shore? Haven't seen it. Have never been to the Jersey Shore. Have zero desire to do either. That story about the child being suspended for drawing Jesus? Um, not exactly.

I'm getting everyone else fat.

I'm baking. A lot. Chocolate cookies dipped in crushed candy canes? Check. Cinnamon rolls with extra extra icing? Check. Salted truffles? Check.

I'm going to see Little Shop of Horrors soon.

This and Rocky Horror Picture Show are my absolute favorites...but the man-eating plant wins. I do so love The Nutcracker, but I could not entice a single friend into a night at the ballet.

Feed me Seymour, feed me!

What have you been up to?

This is little baby A.

I tried to sneak her out into my car with the leftovers, but her mom caught me.

Little A finds pretty pink shoes irresistably delicious. "I think that alone makes her mine," I argued to her sneakers-only mamma whose eyes I was only able to meet because I was in my 3.5 inch pink tweed heels.

She is beautiful and perfect and I want her.

Ok, so I have a few not-yet-completed drafts on frugality in travel, clothing, pet care etc. but it has been a very hectic few days of deciding to change my Thanksgiving plans, arranging for dog care, scrubbing my house so my dog sitter doesn't realize think I'm a filthy slob, packing in secret so the dogs don't see the luggage, making my train, and...I'm tired and my brain is fuzzy. The tired, fuzzy feeling may or may not be related to the fact that last night I ate lots and lots of the best Indian food I have ever had and/or the fact that I got talked out of water with lemon and into a vodka and soda. Or two.

But I'm going somewhere so exciting today, and I think the camera can come along. It's wet. It's a little geeky. And some of the stuff there could kill you 'til you die with venom or teeth, some of it will do it with utter ridiculous heart-melting cuteness. Any guesses?

On Thursday, I get to hold a baby girl. I may or may not return her to her parents.

Then somewhere nice and tranquil on Friday. Ever see that Simpson's episode where Marge and Homer go to a fancypants gala and Marge makes Homer promise he will stay away from the donkey because Homer + donkey = trouble?

I have a donkey. And poor impulse control.

I have a dear, lovely, kind-hearted friend with just a bit of a devious streak. Nothing malicious. She and her equally dear, lovely, kind-hearted sister have a tradition of going to Black Friday and instigating. I'll leave the mechanics of it up to your imagination. One sister calls it "psychological research" and the other calls it "wicked fun."

I went one year. It was wicked fun. (Maybe not "in the holiday spirit," but, honestly? You're not going to find the Chrismahanukwanzaa spirit anywhere on Friday).

But then I couldn't help notice - because I have a pronounced fetish for safety, because my parents never let me learn how to ride a bike, because ambulance-chasing puts kibble in my puppies' bowls - that, in the past 3 or so years, Black Friday has become downright dangerous and even deadly.

The "donkey" invited me this year. I was tempted. So very, very tempted. But either due to increasing maturity or simple scaredy-catness, I had to decline. Fortunately, declining that invitation meant I could trek up to my parents' frozen artic tundra of a house for the weekend. (Please note that I did not say "frozen artic tundra of a state." This is directly relevent to an upcoming post on keeping home energy costs reasonable. Thank you).

So that is my week. I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving, wherever you are and however you recognize the day. At some point I'll teach you how to make holiday travel cheap and peaceful, how I feel about skinny jeans, and the best ways to work Fido into your budget.

And - because I have a pronounced fetish for safety, because my parents never let me learn how to ride a bike, because ambulance-chasing puts kibble in my puppies' bowls - please be safe. Be sure you have a working fire-extinguisher on hand and a few working smoke/carbon monoxide detectors. Don't do anything stupid. Don't drive if you are too tired or tipsy. Wash your hands. Never leave a candle unattended. Keep your critters away from splintery turkey bones, chocolate, onions, and raisins.

Frugality Series 2: Food and drink

A few disclaimers here...

- I'm single and have only one finicky palate to please.

- I rarely eat meat; going vegetarian - whether for life, 1 day a week, or even 1 meal a day - will likely cut grocery bills. Disclaimer to this disclaimer: I have nothing against meat-eating or meat-eaters.

- While I've seen the coupons+sale timing game in action and know that it is fully possible to get $742 worth of groceries for under $5, I rarely use coupons because most of the items I eat simply don't come with coupons. If you use coupons, there are tons of sites that will allow you to print them out at home.

- I feel best when I eat healthfully and I do not always take the cheap route. A good example is oil: I have a pronounced addiction to olive oil and go through an obscene three liters per month despite the fact that vegetable oil is much, much cheaper.

- I take a handful of supplements, probably spending anywhere from $10-$60/month, depending on whether there is a frequent 2-for-1 sale, things like fish oil (don't eat fish), B12 (don't eat meat), and calcium+D (small framed white female = high risk for osteoporsis). While it is generally best to get vitamins and minerals from food, a quality supplement from a reputable brand is an alternative. And while spending $15/month on fish oil might seem excessive, it is still cheaper than eating salmon a few times a week.

- I'm very sensitive to blood sugar issues and do best on a high-protein, low-carb diet...but most Americans need far less protein than they actually think.

- It has only been in the past year that I have actually started using my kitchen. (Coincidentally, it has only been in the past year that my kitchen actually started using my smoke detectors). I'm not an expert in anything kitchen-related except for getting it dirty, which I can do with alarming speed and often in ways worthy of those "candid camera" shows.

- I don't can. I'd like to. But I'd also like to not kill myself with botulism. A friend promises I can't mess up pressure-canning, and I'll post on that if I work up to it. (Most of what I would can - vegetable soups - must be pressure-canned. Unfortunately, I don't eat things like jams or fruit preserves that can be heat-canned).

- I'm far too paranoid to leave a crockpot on all day, but some people swear by them.

With those disclaimers, and in no particular order...

FOOD

1. Replace meat with other sources of protein. Very few Americans are even at risk for being protein-deficient. Eggs and beans are the most inexpensive sources of high-quality protein; faux meats and tofu are pricier but still less expensive than real meat. As far as beans go, dried are cheaper than canned, and canned beans often contain preservatives and salt. No need to soak dry beans - just rinse and cook as usual.

2. Use less meat. Instead of a full steak, try slicing half of it over a bed of greens. Top a hearty stew with pieces of bacon to get lots of meaty taste with much meat.

3. Soup's on! I've always had a love affair with soups, so I'm baffled by people who think they will somehow leave the table hungry if soup is the main course. Warm and comforting in the winter, cool and light in the summer, soup is a versatile dish. The best advice for soups is to puree, puree, puree. A humble pot of black beans, onion, and seasonings becomes something rich and velvety when 2/3 of the beans are pureed. Pureeing veggies - especially steamed cauliflower or potato - is a healthful substitute for using cream in a soup.

4. A thyme for all seasons. A spoonful of freshly pressed raw garlic, a dash of hot sauce, or a dusting of pepper will transform a modest dish to something flavorful and delightful. Use non-caloric spices and herbs instead of cheese to add flavor, too. Need more reasons? Garlic boosts immunity and lowers cholesterol, tumeric is thought to be behind the low rate of Alzheimer's Disease in India, and cayenne pepper is good for the heart.

5. Decide what you can reasonably make/do on your own. For some, this means having a herd of various animals in their backyard. For others, it means buying a head of lettuce instead of the pre-cut bagged greens. Up until very recently, I was smack in the middle of the city where L&I doesn't look fondly upon chickens and, in any case, I'd probably come home to two very happy dogs, a few telltale feathers, and no chickens. What do I do on my own? I never buy pre-cut produce. Most people can handle that. I've recently started making my own yogurt, which, as weird and pioneer-ish as it sounds, is astonishing cheap and easy. (I'll post a how-to eventually). I make my own bread.* I make my own protein smoothies and hummus.

I make flavorful, salt-free soup broth with veggie ends. I buy solid blocks of feta instead of the pre-crumbled stuff because, honestly, am I really so lazy I can't crumble my own feta? I make my own croutons and bread crumbs (great way to use stale bread, too). I rarely stop for a drive-through breakfast before work and usually brown-bag my lunch. And, in the summer, I garden. (See below). Basically, I tend to buy more whole ingredients (vegetables) and fewer prepared items (canned vegetable soup).

6. Ask around for farmer's markets and the like. I usually walk away disappointed by most farmer's markets in my area. One would think that being within an hour of Amish country that cheap produce would abound! A few years ago I discovered a large flea market with several dirt-cheap produce stalls. The savings far exceed the bridge toll and cost of fuel for the 30-45 minute trip. Ask around. Because sterotypes are a real time-saver, just sniff around for patchouli or find the guy wearing Birkenstocks in November. They usually know where to find the cheapest granola.**

No farmer's markets convenient to you? Go shopping for produce in the freezer or canned goods sections. Frozen or canned produce often has more nutrients than fresh. Just be sure to avoid frozen or canned produce with extra sugars, syrups, salt, or sauces.

7. Don't waste food. Different people have different ways on how to avoid waste. For me, it means I make several food trips each week. For others, it might mean buying in bulk and freezing or else having a teenage boy. (If you're bored, go buy $100 or so worth of groceries, invite a teenage boy over, and just watch). But what happens when you have say, half a wilted head of lettuce, a small amount of leftover Indian food, and an inch of milk? Scramble with eggs. You'd be amazed at what you can hide in eggs! My breakfast, in fact, was egg whites blended with leftover onion chutney and a handful of spinach. (Soups are good for this, too).

8. Consider a second freezer. For me, not buying a freezer wasn't really an option. I have a real 1930s GE fridge (which, ahem, will not make an appearance on the how-to-save-on-home-energy-costs post) that lacks a freezer. I love, love, love having a big chest freezer. When things like frozen berries or faux meats go on sale, I stock up. I spend one day per month making massive quantities of soups, then freeze in small portions - knowing that I'm 30 minutes away from a healthy soup has thwarted the "I'm too tired to cook, let's get take-out" temptation more than once. Of course, I'm also awake that a power-outage could result in a lot of lost food...which is why I'm working up the courage to try canning. Baby steps.

9. Trader Joe's. The first time I saw TJ's, I thought, "great, another over-priced speciality market." Eventually I found my way inside...and haven't come out since. Their frozen fruits, frozen berries, nuts, and dried fruits are all delicious and wonderful and yummy and cheaper than my local grocery store. A big cannister of whey protein is $20 at TJ's and $40+ at GNC. Their return policy is fabulous, too: if, for whatever reason, you don't like something, you get a hassle-free refund. Plus, everyone there is just so nice. If you are having a bad day, just wander around TJ's. The downside? For one, their produce is limited and often pricey. But my real issue with them is that, because they are constantly adding new, interesting products, some older ones have to go. Often with no warning. I'm still hurt over their 2002 discontinuation of dried strawberry-flavored rhubarb chunks. And if anyone knows where I can find no-sugar-added, sulfur-free, dried rhubarb flavored with strawberry, let me know.

10. Go shopping alone, if possible, and don't go hungry. I know that a trip to Petsmart with the dogs usually results in an impulse-purchase or two, so I can only imagine how many extras go into the cart when you bring along children who throw tantrums or plead for items they see on television. If leaving them at home isn't an option, try Benadryl or duct tape. (That was a joke; don't do that). Just try to give everyone a filling meal before shopping. Even the yummiest display won't tempt you with a big bowl of fiber-packed oatmeal in your belly.

DRINK

1. If you want filtered water, buy a filter and a BPA-free water bottle. I think it is utterly insane to buy water on a regular basis. But that's just me, and I know that at least half of what I do strikes others as similarly ridiculous. Plus, did you know that constantly drinking from a plastic water bottle (or anything with a narrow mouth) causes premature wrinkles around the mouth? It is the same movement as sucking on a cigarette. Which, by the way, is a rather pricey habit.

2. Limit beverages like soda and juice. They don't really add anything of benefit to your diet. Eat an apple instead of drinking a glass of apple juice. If you crave something fizzy, consider seltzer - either on its own or spiked with a little juice.

3. Make your own coffee and tea. I actually fail at this one. I always keep a pitcher of tea in the fridge, but I do stop for a coffee most mornings. It is a bit of a ritual for me. Fortunately, it runs less than $1/day. As far as tea goes, learn how to make it. Green teas, for example, will be bitter if over-steeped. Don't spend money on tea only to ruin it!

4. If you don't drink alcohol, well, you don't spend money buying it. But I love a nice glass of wine. If you have a Trader Joe's near you that sells alcohol, check them out. I drive about 3-4 hours round-trip a few times a year to the closest TJ's with a liquor license and buy several cases "two buck Chuck." Not the very best, but perfectly decent. If you are nowhere near a TJ's, find a small wine shop staffed by people who really know wine and ask for recommendations within your budget. Never, ever, ever fall into the trap of thinking that a good wine must cost a certain amount. As far as beer, liquor, and malt beverages, I don't know enough about them. PBR is coming back in a big, "blue collar chic" way, and Cooks Illustrated experimented with vodkas a year ago and found that running a cheap vodka thorugh a Brita filter several times made it much better. Maybe try that? Probably kills the filter, though.

GARDENING

1. Use grow boxes. You can grow large quantities of produce and concentrate the nutrients by using grow boxes.

2. Make your own grow boxes. A 3x3 plastic box runs about $50-$70 in supply catalogues. Get some lumber and 4-inch nails and make them yourself for $10-$20 each. Plus, it is a chance to use a power drill (though a hammer will suffice just fine), which makes me feel all talented and capable and rugged. I'm not exactly rugged; I wear pearls with t-shirts.

3. Re-use the grow boxes (they will last 2-4 years with proper care), supports, and plastic sheeting.

4. Consider buying established plants. Yes, seeds are cheaper, but considering that the vast amount of gardening money is spent on soil and fertilizer, I don't think it makes much sense to quibble over a $1 seed packet versus a $2 established plant. In my (2 years) experience, only half the seeds germinate and only half those plants survive transplant...by which time I've already lost a month.

5. Only plant what you will eat, and, if you are limited on space, only plant pricier produce. I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, eggplants, and raspberries. Corn, garlic, onions, and even strawberries I can get for little at my local flea market.

6. Use red plastic sheeting. Red sheeting triggers a growth protein in tomatoes. I tried it on eggplants and peppers, with good results.

7. Do not skimp on quality soil and fertilizer. Yes, you will get tomatoes if you plop a plant in the ground, but you will get many more tomatoes if you spend a little on fertilizer and good soil.

8. Water mostly in the early morning. Water in daylight, and you're just losing the water to evaporation. Water too much at night and you risk mold.

That's all I have. Do you have anything to add?

* I'm always amused by people who think making one's own bread is the mark of a hardy, capable pioneer. The first time I ever made bread, the loaf came out just as promised - which I say not to emphasize what an amazingly talented superstar baker I am, but to emphasize how easy it is to slap together flour, yeast, and water, wait a little, smack the dough around, wait a little more, then bake. And, as I learned from the time I let the dough rise for about 24 hours instead of the recommended 2, nothing bad happens. Once you master basic bread, you can start playing around with add-ins (seeds, roasted garlic, herbs, fruit, nuts, cheese) and substitutions (yogurt or cottage cheese for water).

** The link is to the satirical publication, The Onion.

free food

Yes, there will be a frugality-and-food post coming soon, but in the meantime...

Free breakfast at Ikea. And since a few of you asked, my kitchen curtains are Ikea...if you live in a place with very high ceilings, Ikea is fabulous for floor-to-ceiling curtains. I've actually banned myself from the curtain section of Ikea as the impulse to just grab great big armfuls of fabric and wrap myself in rich forest green velvet or shimmery tangerine drapes becomes harder and harder to resist.

But that's my issue, not yours.

Where we we?

Free chicken taco from Del Taco.

Free classic taco from Del Taco.

Free chocolate fondue at Melting Pot.

Free appetizer at Friday's.

I didn't see Borat or Bruno...

...but after watching this, I might just have to spend tomorrow watching both.

Frugality Series 1: Charity

Charitable giving can be roughly divided into two categories: financial gifts/donations of property and service gifts/gifts that can't be purchased. Even if you are short on money and time, there are many ways to offer someone else concrete, valuable help.


I just want to make a preliminary few points...

First, the less fortunate have needs year-round - not just on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Growing up, our church was very active with a specific homeless shelter. What families got to serve the homeless on Thanksgiving caused some serious fights every year. But the people who were most peeved about not being able to serve on Thanksgiving were the same ones who only wanted to serve on Thanksgiving.

Um, don't be like that.

Second, you need not be linked up with an organization or anything official.

Finally, if you are unemployed, seriously consider volunteer work. Not only will it provide networking opportunities, but you can also put it on your resume.

Financial gifts and donations of property
1. Responsible giving. Some will disagree with me on this one, but I believe that I have an obligation to do a little research before cutting a check to an organization. Have you ever felt like a greedy little glutton when you deline to add on a small donation at the grocery store check-out line? Me, too. While most grocery stores do vet the charity - and not all do - their vetting standards might not be the same as mine. If you give to an organization, take a few minutes to find out exactly how they distribute received funds. And if that organization resists such disclosure, take your wallet somewhere else.

The same goes for non-monetary donations. Are you sure that ponytail you lopped off is actually going to cancer patients? Some "charities" sell valuable human hair to wigmakers and are not clear about what happens to those funds. Are you sure that bag of clothing will keep someone else warm? Some "charities" sell clothing for fiber (same idea as scrap metal).

Although it is mostly buying instead of giving, read the fine print before purchasing, say, pink shoes or pink hairties or pink cookie cutters because you want to donate while buying coffee in a pink cup. The portion of your purchase that funds a charitable or research entity might be minimal and capped after a certain dollar amount. (I am using breast cancer as an example only because most of us are familiar with the pink ribbon and I am not at all downplaying the value of awareness. PS: Have you done your self-exam this month?)

2. Donations of vehicles and other property. For some, taking the tax deduction makes more fiscal sense than selling the property. Before you try to Craigslist your car, review whether donating it to a reputable organization is more advantageous than selling it. (If you have a lot of property you want to donate, it is probably a wise idea to swing by your friendly neighborhood tax attorney before handing it over.)

3. Go shopping...but for someone else. Spot a great deal on a shelf-stable food that you don't eat? Give it to your local food pantry. Same goes for toiletries, pet items, and clothing staples like socks, underwear, and gloves. If you play the coupon+sale timing game, you can give a lot for very, very little. This would be a good way to get children involved in giving, too - maybe they could be responsible for selecting toys for a Christmas gift drive.

4. Be resourceful. I did a now-lost post on toiletry kits for the homeless last year. I and my then-roommate traveled a lot but rarely used the hotel toiletries. Because they carry their possessions with them, I reasoned that full-size toiletry products were better-suited for food pantries. We hoarded travel-size toiletries from hotels, put them in a bag with deodorant, snacks, and seasonal items like socks or sunscreen, and passed them out from the car on our way to work. Word got around and I have a few people who regularly drop off bags of small-sized toiletries...including a kind check-out worker who gives me any leftover sample-sized toothpaste from promotional events. You might - due to your hobbies or line of work - have access to certain resources or skills that can be a blessing to someone else.

Service gifts/gifts that can't be purchased
1. Donate blood. Few people are excluded and you get a cookie at the end.

2. Donate bone marrow. I posted on bone marrow donation a year ago, but I think I lost that post when everything crashed. I will devote a full post to the matter in the future, but, in a nutshell: most bone marrow donations today only require a little blood-letting and no actual harvesting from the bone. Even if all donations required from-the-bone-harvesting, someone else gets to live and you get...a few days of lower back pain. Note: I think signing up for the registry through a local drive is free, but if you do it on your own, the kit is a $52 donation.

3. Donate time. Do you have a special skill like webpage design that you could offer an organization? Are you in a profession that makes it possible to donate your professional services a few times a year? (Depending on your profession, check with your malpractice carrier and employer first.) Can you sort clothing, make phone calls, or hold someone's hand and listen? The vast majority of us are capable of doing something, and there are plenty of one-time service opportunities for the commitmentphobes among us. And you can profit, too - volunteering is a great way to network, make friends, and even land a spouse. Think about it: if you're a save-the-whales type of person, you probably want to marry or befriend a fellow save-the-whaler. And what better place to conveniently find concentrated amounts of nice, whale-loving people than at We Heart Whales?

I'm all about convenience.

You can get your kids and pets in on this, too. Most older children can handle sorting boxes of cereal, and many areas have opportunities for well-behaved critters to visit schools for abused children, hospitals, and nursing homes. (No, Jack and Coco don't do this. Coco failed the exam because she doesn't understand "sit" or "come" when there isn't a treat dangled above her greedy little nose. And Jack passed, but was told to come back when he "calms down" and is "less boisterous.")

4. Pray. Or send up positive vibes or burn some sage or meditate or do a rain dance. (Or do "no cold weather" dance for me, because I still haven't unpacked my winter coat).

Do you have anything to add?

New series on frugality. No series on homemaking.

I've been getting a lot of traffic from Frugal Homemaker Plus, so I suppose I should talk a little bit about homemaking and/or frugality.

I'm unbelievably messy and that isn't changing anytime soon, so let's just go straight to frugality, shall we?

Over the next week or so, I will plan to do a series: food/drink, clothing, home, health and beauty care, pets, children, legal, charity, and anything else I can think might be useful.

Just, please: don't ask me the best way to shine up your windows or how often I scrub my baseboards. All I can tell you is that (1) for the love of all that is holy and conscious, do not mix bleach with ammonia and (2) I think there is a bunny third dog under my bed.

Hello, my name is Allison and I shave my Lab.

Technically or morally or whatever, Labs are not supposed to be shaved. Ever.

In fact, I've been informed that doing so constitutes animal abuse.
Because this is an abused dog.

I mean, clearly.

(And this is my new favorite photo, I think. His groomer always sends him off with a bandana, which some people think makes him look rather like a sissy, but I think it is adorable.)

"It will never grow back," they say. [It does.] "But it will never grow back the same," they say. [It does.] "Labs have a special waterproof coat and shaving even once destroys it," they say. [Nope.] "Why on earth would you shave a short-haired dog?" they finally sputter. Because Jack gets very hot. So hot, in fact, that he eschews his dog couch in favor of cool tile or my (wood) floors - neither of which is good for his joints or elbows. When he is shaved, his soon-to-be-ten-years-old joints and elbows stays on the couch. His fur stays off my clothing. And, being the attention whore that he is, he LOVES that he can feel every touch and belly tickle post-shave.

That's animal abuse for ya.

worse than an elephant

You see this handsome guy?

Yeah, sometimes he can be a pain.

You see, this guy remembers everything. EVERYTHING.

Two years ago, he smacked his head on my trunk door when he jumped into the car a little too early - the door was only half up. He hit his head hard enough to crack the base of my trunk's hood. Since then, he always looks up to be sure the trunk door is ALL the way up before jumping.


But three months ago, I did something bad. Something I have never, ever done before. I am always extremely careful to check for tails and paws and noses before I close the trunk door. The ONE time I forgot to check...I closed the trunk on Jack's tail. Very, very, VERY fortunately, he tail was wedged on the side, in between the weather-stripping, and no there was no damage to his tail. But it terrified Jack - a dog who isn't scared of anything. This is a dog who ADORES the vacuum cleaner and gets exicted when I take the hose attachment and vacuum him. Doesn't mind getting shots at the vet. 'Dominates' all dogs, including the 300lb small horse at the dog park.

I've tried getting him in the trunk. Cajoling, sweet talk, and threats failed. If I try to hoist up his rear legs or tug on his Halti, he throws himself on the ground and does an alligator death roll. I even pulled out the very best of my arsenal: meat. Not Boca, not Quorn, but real bloody flesh from a cow set in the trunk. He sniffed the air, then did an alligator death roll.

Clearly, this is going to be a problem.

He is perfectly happy to sit in the rear seat, but that is not a safe place for a dog. Plus, my car is in pristine condition and I'd like to keep it that way. I have a rear-seat cover, but it doesn't cover the headrests or center console.

Any suggestions?

***

Usefulness of the day: For a low-carb version of nachos, slice cheddar into long, thin slices, roll some crisp Romaine around the cheese, and dip in salsa. You get the crunch (plus green, calcium, and protein) without the carbs.

Picture credit.