My floors got redone this weekend and, in the interests of not getting high-as-a-kite off the sanding and sealant fumes, the dogs and I are living with a friend for a few days. (They actually are decent houseguests.)
This friend lives in the woods. That's woods to me, not necessarily woods to most of you. And when I say "woods," well, I really mean "formerly dense forest razed to make room for yet another tract of architecturally bland McMansions inhabited by a lot of inconspicuous consumers who pour gallons of poison over their perfetly manicured lawns before retreating to snack on organic corn chips and organic lemonade sweetened with organic cane sugar."
Personally, I think the perfectly manicured lawn-fountain-statues look is lovely...if one means it ironically. Give me the wild - or at least individualistic - look any day! Does anyone honestly think that a reproduction of a Greco-Roman statue next to the garage automatically vests one with class?
Answer: Evidently, and Italian-Americans are disproportionately afflicted.
The problem with plunking down a home with Palette 2 countertops/cabinets/flooring in the kitchen and Palette 5 vanity/tiles/hardware in the master bath in said forest is that forests tend to be inhabited by all manner of forest-y denizens.
Who knew?
I was trying to relax in the tub yesterday afternoon when I heard Coco going crazy at the back door. No matter. Could be an errant leaf. Then Jack started going crazy. Not his 'big boy' bark, which is enough to produce a puddle between your feet, but enough of a "you should see this, mamma!" bark that, with a great sigh, made me leave my nice cool bath. A feral, small, sleek, perfectly black kittycat was making her way around the yard. No sooner had I sighed and sunk back into my bath than I heard more commotion. This time, a deer. A young male, judging by his antlers. Clearly up to no good what with his snacking on birdseed and such.
My point?
Cats and deer? Cause for major alarm. Fireworks? Not a peep.
I don't get it either.
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2 comments:
Mmm! Organic cane sugar!
You are hilarious!
"inconspicuous consumers who pour gallons of poison over their perfetly manicured lawns before retreating to snack on organic corn chips and organic lemonade sweetened with organic cane sugar."
*snort*
The wildlife around her mainly consists of squirrels (that want to get into my attic and chew away what's left of my decrepit wiring,) stray cats who want to come inside where it is warm/cool, and the birds which I absolutely adore. It all makes for an interesting life, yes?
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