I'm trying to get two apartments rented, and, oh, the things people say!
1. Upon meeting your prospective landlord, do not ask her the best place in the neighborhood to "get my drink on." I do not rent to party animals. If, however, you are a borderline obsessive-compulsive neatnik who spends her evenings knitting and watching Masterpiece Theatre, feel free to throw that in.
2. Do not tell your prospective landlord that you have mastered the art of removing store security devices from computer software packages. I'm sure your "art" requires a unique combination of fine motor skills and loose morals, but keep it to yourself.
3. When filling out a rental application, do not write "none of your business" on the line asking for annual income.
4. When your prospective landlord asks for clarification when you write "other" or "it's complicated" for a source of income and you still remain vague, I will presume you are a drug dealer or escort.
5. Do not list your college GPA. I don't care. Congrats on Dean's List...12 years ago.
6. If you have an unneutered pitbull, do not call him a "Lab mix." If you have a Rottweiler, do not call him a "Lab mix."*
7. Do not tell your prospective landlord that your hobbies include dying wool. I can see my beautiful floors stained fuschia already.
8. If you do things like confirming the showing date, showing up on time, etc. I will think you are a responsible person. I will think you are a responsible person who will take care of the apartment if you follow-up with a thank you.
9. For heaven's sake, keep your thoughts on Obama, health care reform, and tort reform to yourself. No need to get crazy and peel off your Obama bumper sticker, but unsolicited, unrelated political philosophies are highly unnecessary. And you probably don't want to hear my thoughts on any of the above.
10. Do not look at the wonderful kitchen island with a big range and pendant lighting and say, "man, this is perfect for beer pong night!"
11. If the apartment comes with a grill, do not tell me you are a strict vegan and that I will need to provide you with a new grill. Guess who isn't getting provided with an apartment?
*I have nothing against pits or Rotties...but my insurance carrier does.
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7 comments:
"It's complicated." LOL, ohhhh mann. At least they're honest.
And can't vegans grill tofu or vegetables or whatever? I don't get that last one.
Mrs. C - some (maybe all?) vegans won't use cookery that has touched something non-vegan. I guess it is similar to how observant Jews have different plates, silverware, etc. for meat dishes (to ensure that there is no mixing of meat and milk.)
LOL nice! I am sure you hear some really crazy things. I think first thought comes to mind, people are scary. :-)
Are these people for real?! MInd you, given our elected council just now I'm starting to think people are just dumb. It's complicated. I'm sure you don't want to know my thoughts on the matter. lol
"When your prospective landlord asks for clarification when you write "other" or "it's complicated" for a source of income and you still remain vague, I will presume you are a drug dealer or escort."
*snerk*
Unsolicited anti-Obama remarks will be rewarded with a zero-tolerance policy on late rent fee.
People never cease to amaze me.
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