Housekeeping tips from a new and reluctant housekeeper

1. You do not need to iron. Hang up the garment in the shower and spritz with warm water. Smooth and gently tug. Garment will be wrinkle-free by morning. Buy a $1 spray bottle and use tap water - no need to buy the expensive Febreze wrinkle-release potions. If you cannot get the garment wet, put it in a plastic garment bag, hang in between the shower curtain and liner, and take a steamy shower.

2. If you clean as you cook, you will be surprised how little cleaning you must do at the end.

3. If you must clean your messy house in 5 minutes, sweep it all into an empty laundry basket. Hide the basket in a closet, or neatly fold some clothing to place on top of the basket. "Oh, what a surprise! Do come in. I was just folding my laundry." You may also toss everything in your bed, cover with a blanket, and use pillows to disguise the lumps.

4. If you turn down the lights and light some candles, your house will look nicer and smell pleasant. Dim lighting flatters people and clutter.

5. Keep an attractive lidded wicker cube or similar in your bathroom. Toss everything in the cube. Sort the cube's contents once a week. This is not a chore, but rather a sort of birthday present. "Oh, here is my hairdryer! I was so worried I lost it for good!"

6. If guests come over and your house is truly a disaster, just tell them you were half-way through sorting through your possessions so you can donate to Goodwill when the dogs got into your keep/donate/recycle piles. You will actually have to donate to Goodwill if you want to use this excuse. Karma and all. I watch My Name is Earl, so I know.

7. Stick a rag on the bottom of each shoe, turn on the music, and dance. Your floors should be clean after a few minutes. You can try the same with small children and pets.

8. Use colored toilet bowl cleaner and squeeze a happy face into the bowl before scrubbing. If you work quickly, you can give the face a stick body.

9. If someone comments on your dirty mirrors, respond that as you are naturally always perfectly gorgeous, you have no need for mirrors, and therefore did not notice the dirt.

10. Do a quick wipe of your kitchen surfaces before retiring. You will wake up to a clean kitchen.


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