Embarrasment in the garden

There was a time when I prided myself on being a hardy New England girl who braved the Arctic tundras with nonchalance. No more. I am beyond ready for spring. My skin craves real sunlight, my hands plead for dirt, my eyes wish for some color amidst the dreary brown and gray of winter, and my nose anticipates the sweet lilac-scented breezes of May. I've grown bored with my indoor arts & crafts time. I need to garden!

This will be my second year playing around in the dirt. I was schooled in many lessons, but there remains one embarrassing lesson I did not yet share.

Roommate's plants were flourishing. Mine were not. I caught chipmunks filling their cheeks with my strawberries and raspberries, my sunflowers failed to grow more than 3 inches, and most of my cucumber seedlings did not survive the transplant. Discouraged, I roamed the aisles of Home Depot for solutions. Seedling greenhouses (excellent), more seeds, draping mesh, chipmunk smoke bombs (don't worry, never tried them out!), and...an economy-sized tub of Miracle Grow.

I glanced at the directions on the tub of Miracle Grow. It called for one scoop of powder to a gallon of water for an acre of land. I dumped several heaping scoops into a 3-gallon bucket, and started pouring over everything: hanging planters, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, eggplants, herbs, berries, morning glories, everything. I repeated this recipe multiple times. I had visions of waking to beach-ball sized tomatoes on the morning.

Let's pause here. No, I am not exactly a country girl, and yes, perhaps the chemical fumes erased every single year of chemistry from my brain.

When Roommate returned home that evening, I excitedly told her to expect some major growth. She paled and asked me to repeat just how much of what I so generously fed our garden. She sighed (I've done stuff like this before), and told me that we would be up all night watering the garden in hopes of flushing away all my nitrogen-rich efforts. I cried when I realized that I probably just destroyed months of labor, time, effort, and money.

All the water displaced the Miracle Grow. Every single plant was just fine. Lesson learned. But I could not help but boast that maybe everything looked just a tad bigger the next day ;)

Lessons:
1. Follow product instructions.
2. Seek advice from a smarter, more experienced, more common-sensical gardener.
3. The laws of chemistry still apply in the garden.

Cucumber seedlings

Tomatoes. Only six plants! A bumper crop.

Pretty orange flowers

Hibiscus

Flower pots and a Coco'nut.
Oh yes, you, too, can grow your very own Coco! They are yappy and quite delicate. Be prepared.

***
Tip/trick/lesson of the day: Rub an old piece of pantyhose (dry) on deodorant-marked clothing. The embarrassing white streaks will come right off.