So...my, what happened while I was gone! I'm not going to comment on Iran, because I'm no expert on the Middle East in general, let alone Iranian politics. (Though feel free to give me a basic, as-neutral-as-possible run-down on either). Or Michael Jackson, because Thriller came out the year I was born (1982, to save you a Google trip), and I never really got into him. My classmates were more into Snoop Dogg than Michael Jackson and New Kids on the Block. The first CD I ever purchased for myself was Doggystyle and, no, I just thought the dogs were cute. All I have to say about that is that if I have kids, they will only be allowed to choose their own music at the same age they'll be allowed to date: 40.
Moving on.
But I am going to step on this little soapbox right here and give y'all a lecture on anal cancer.
Farrah Fawcett died of anal cancer. And I don't want any of you to die of anal cancer.
Now, at this point, I'm going to tell you the homework assignment from the first day of sexual education from my5th grade science class. (I went to a school where sex ed was a part of science, and I believe - as much as a non-parent can believe - that this is the way to go). Assignment: stand in front of a mirror. Say the following words: Penis. Vagina. Breast. Sex. Semen. Anus. Repeat until you no longer smirk. Thank you.
Anal cancer. It is very nasty stuff. Gay men and people with HPV are especially at risk, but you know what? Straight women who do not have HPV can get it, too. Like my mom. Anal cancer may be tough to self-detect, so just go on and tell your ob/gyn to do a super-fun anal exam while she is down there. Most ob/gyns do not perform a standard anal exam. Uncomfortable? Youbetcha. But you know what is more uncomfortable? Getting your anus zapped with radiation.
My mother was very, very fortunate to have an ob/gyn who performs an anal exam as part of the standard vaginal exam. Because it was caught so early, the cancer was treated before it could do something icky like spread to the liver. But, let me tell you: those few months of treatment were terrible. She had to kick my father and brother out of the house - and ban any daughters from visiting - due to her low white blood cell counts and risk of infection. Sitting and lying down were impossible. Bathroom visits required an intricate, painful sterilization process. No fun. And very, very fortunately, my mom is ok. She did not lose her anus. That's a big deal. And her kids didn't lose their mom. Thank you, Lord. Did I ever think that "anal" and "God" would make it into the same sentence? Nope. But they did. Thank you, God, for saving my mom from anal cancer.
So, please...ask your ob/gyn to do a little poking and prodding around the anus. I'd rather you not associate "Allison" with "anal prodding," but...I'm totally willing to take that risk.
*Trips while stepping down from soapbox*
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Usefulness of the day: Breast self-exam kit.
4 comments:
wow- strong post. i felt odd giggling at the *Trips while stepping down from soapbox* but i did. glad she is ok.
Hey. I'm glad your mom is alive and well. You know, years ago (before you were born, young missy! 1982... wow) breast cancer was shameful and embarrassing. Now we have the pink ribbon and people *talk* about it and use the word "breast" in a sentence. :]
Hurray for Allison! You couldn't be more correct. I had a baseline Colonoscopy done at age 50 and recently had another, because of all the other testing going on.
Both came out negative.
It's really nothing to fear insofar as pain factor is concerned. You are given REALLY GOOD drugs to dumbfound your mind into thinking that this will be fun, and it lasts a long time.
Follow good advice! Go to the Doctor and sign up!
Thanks, Al. And am so grateful to the Almighty that your Mom is fine.
Thanks, all! My mother is doing quite well. Her last round of chemo/rad was in May 2008, and she had her port removed a few weeks ago.
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